Dust To Dust
by WaywardxChica91
Summary: Post Thanos' snap, Bucky and Caroline have a chance meeting after waking up in a deserted land. Together, they protect each other from those that would seek to harm them. It's unsure where exactly they are, or if they're alive. But one thing is certain. The threat is real.
1. A Bright, New World

The idea of an alien attack on Earth would have been terrifying enough. Actually watching it happen before my eyes, it was like a nightmare you can't wake up from. That's how it felt on that fateful day in April as fearsome spacecraft landed on the outskirts of a bustling village in Wakanda.

We were sent by the U.N to meet with King T'Challa. He had promised a meeting with us after he had revealed to the world some of Wakanda's... capabilities. So, here we were, standing in a small, busy hotel, watching as the king's home was destroyed.

With each passing moment, we waited for whomever had come down in those ships to finish off their target, and come for us. Instead, we looked on as the ships fell in fire and rubble. We had no idea what was the cause, but we were sure another catastrophic event had been averted, likely by the now outlawed Avenger's. And so, with the looming thoughts of death passing, we cheered on our protectors and thanked the gods for sparing us. Well, until it happened.

Certain it was over, we sat out in a small courtyard off of the hotel, watching the raging flames smolder down to nothing. But it was just the beginning. Spontaneously, people started to disintegrate, one after another. I watched my colleagues fall to dust, like they had never existed. Then I felt it. My hands started to tingle, but as I shook them out, they crumbled before my eyes. I had but a moment to scream before everything fell to black.

Wails and cries of horror woke me with a start. Jumping to my feet, ready to fight, I searched my new surroundings. As my eyes focused, all I could see in every direction was an orange mist. No hills, no vegetation, nothing. Just red desert and orange mist. I looked at my hands, trying to remember what had happened. Right, we had all magically turned to dust.

"What the hell is going on?" I muttered to myself, pushing my dark curls out of my face, wiping the makeup out of my burning eyes.

"Well, isn't that the question of the day?" A man replied, as he approached me from behind.

I turned around, fist up, ready to strike. He caught my hand in his steel fist, unphased by my attempt at defending myself. I gasped, and tried to pull away, but he had an ironclad grip on me. Great, the first person I find in our new world is the Winter Soldier. I had attempted to apprehend him with a team a few years before, and I knew what he was capable of. I begged God to get me out of there, as I tried to calm my fast breathing. He looked from our hands, to my face and back again, trying to size up the situation. I slowly put up my free hand and gave him a reassuring smile.

"I'm not going to cause you any trouble Mr. Barnes. I promise. I'm Caroline Smith, and I work for the U.N., and I was in Wakanda to speak with King T'Challa about defense strategies. At least until the people around me started to disappear. Do you know what caused this?"

Bucky sighed, released my hand, and took off into the mist. I watched him fade away, rubbing the pain from my fingers. Suddenly, a cry from the mist made me jump, and I realized how alone I was. So, I ran in the direction Bucky had gone, afraid to be alone. He may have been an assassin, but at least he knew his way around a fight.

As I spotted him in the mist, I tried to stay with him, but he disappeared every time I caught back up. After losing sight of him multiple times, I couldn't take it anymore. If I lost him for good, I would be no better off than when I'd started. So, catching up to him, I slipped my hand around his elbow, trying not to startle him. He jumped at my touch, but gave me a sympathetic smile, and held his arm out to me. My lips twinged into an unsettled smile, but I took his outstretched arm, and followed him into the mist.

we walked fro miles, before the cries died down. The silence was unsettling, like there was no one else left out there to find. I tried not to focus on that concern, instead focusing on Bucky, the only other person I had. He had changed so much since we had last seen him. He was angry and malicious. The man holding my arm, he was neither of those things. Instead, he was gentle, calm, and amiable even.

So focused on my own thoughts, I hadn't realized Bucky had stopped. Clearing his throat, he glanced at me, his eyes darting around. Finally realizing he was watching me, I coughed, and glanced around. It was sudden apparent why he had stopped. Towering over us stood a wall of red stone. It spread as far as you could see in either direction. nestled in the rock, there was a small, partially hidden opening.

"I woke up inside there." He announced, as he pointed entrance. "It's dark, but I think it's the safest place for us to rest, before I go back out to find my friends."

"You're going to let me stay with you?!" I queried, astonished.

He nodded, and glanced around, saying, "I'm not leaving you out here, with who knows what. Just don't try to kill me."

I nodded in agreement, chuckling. Amused, he smiled and gestured for me to go on in. Nervously, I looked around for any signs of others, and climbed in. The tunnel was so low, even with my short, slim build, I found it a tight squeeze. As I fell out of the tunnel, I dropped into an almost pitch black. I attempted to look at my hand, and could hardly even see it as I touched my own lips. But, all the same, it was better than being out in the mist.

As I reached the back of the cave, crawling on all fours, I knocked my head on the sharp wall. Dropping to the ground, I held my head. It had already begun throbbing, and it hurt immensely.

"Ow, ow, ow. I found the end... with my head." I whined, trying to rub the pain out of my scalp.

Bucky rushed back, and bumped into me, asking, "Are you alright? Is it bleeding?"

I rubbed my head, and pulled my hand away. As I ran my fingers across my palm, they came away slick. I groaned and stopped rubbing, applying pressure to the spot that hurt, hoping that I had covered the cut. It was just my luck.

"Well?" Bucky questioned gently.

"Yeah, but it can't be that bad, I barely even knocked it." I replied as I felt the blood pool under my palm and leak down my hairline.

Bucky huffed, and began to rustle around in the darkness. A moment later, he gently touched my knee, pulled back, then continued up my body to my head. He sighed, and moved his body close enough to feel the heat radiating off of him. I stiffened, confused. What was he going to do?

"I have a handkerchief, move your hand, and let me stop the bleeding." He demanded as he slid his hand under mine.

He tried to be gentle, but the pain was intense, making me grit my teeth. The situation would have been bad enough, but now I was dealing with an assassin within reach of my neck. I was acutely aware of his past, and I couldn't forget it. Though I didn't completely trust him, I was grateful for his help. Gently, he placed his loose hand on my back, I assumed to comfort me.

"It doesn't seem to be seeping through the cloth now, so it should stop bleeding soon." Bucky assured me.

"Thank you. Not just for this, but for letting me stay with you out there. You didn't have to let me tag along." I acknowledged, patting him on the leg, hopefully. It was still too dark to tell.

Bucky snickered, "Miss, you act like I'm not doing what any decent human being would do. Why would I leave you alone out there, and why would I let you bleed out in here? Do you think I'm a monster?"

I sighed deeply, trying to think of the right words. Of course he wasn't a monster, but he was right. Any good person would have done the same. Though, he wasn't just anyone.

"You're right. But let's face it. You're not just any person. You're a former assassin, and if you are still anything like you were before, this is a pleasant surprise." I admitted, cautiously.

"I see, you know who I am... Well, I'm not an assassin. I don't do that anymore. I'm just a normal man living a normal life."

"You're file does not account for that turn of events..." I muttered to myself.

He stiffened beside me, and groaned, "You have a file on me?"

I rubbed the blood from my hands as I muttered, "Yeah. I'm sorry. I worked on the team sent to find you all those years ago. But, the file, it's all about your time before you disappeared in Germany. People can change a lot in that amount of time. And obviously you have. Where have you been, if you don't mind me asking?"

Bucky scoffed as he moved his hand from my back.

"Wakanda. T'Challa and his genius sister, Shuri, got that HYDRA nonsense out of my head. I've been living among the people ever since. It was really good for me. That is, until that purple psycho showed up, and we got our asses handed to us." He responded, obviously upset.

I gave the space I assumed he occupied a confused look, and asked, "Who are you talking about? What purple psycho?"

Bucky hesitated a moment, before he hissed, "Thanos. He's some warlord or something from another galaxy. He came to get something called an infinity stone from a friend of mine. Now he has them all, the stones, and he used them to destroy half of the population of Earth. I assume we are not the ones that were spared, and now we're dead, or something..."

I put a hand on what I assumed was his chest, stopping him.

"Please, no more. Let me process what you said for a minute."

He fell silent, but hesitantly placed his hand back on my back. Gently, he ran his hand up and down my spine, comforting me. It was yet another surprise from him. After we had been sitting in silence for some time, he gingerly removed the handkerchief from my head, and sighed slowly.

"I'm pretty sure it stopped. You have a bad bump up there, but you'll be alright." He assured me, sliding away.

I nodded to the darkness, and rubbed my neck, it was wet with blood. I hoped my long, dark hair would keep it well hidden until we could get cleaned up. Though, I couldn't tell you when that would be.

"Thanks again for helping me out. I'm glad I ran into you out there. Do you want to rest, then we'll go out and find your friends?" I queried as I carefully laid back against the cave wall.

"Sure, as long as you're feeling alright, I could really use your company. To tell you the truth, I was starting to lose it out there, before I found you." He confided, as he came to rest close beside me.

"I'm fine, really. I'm glad you found me when you did, because I don't think I could have dealt with the screaming much longer. I probably would have joined them if you hadn't come along." I retorted, trying to find his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"I doubt it. You tried to fight me the moment we met, Caroline!" Bucky chuckled. "I know strength when I see it. And you? You would have been stronger than that..."

I smiled, and leaned up against him, closing my eyes. He let out a soft laugh, and leaned closer to me, before resting his head on mine. Within that cave, our unlikely bond had begun. He may have been a killer in the past, but that was not the man I was holding then. So, it was an easy sleep I fell into as I listened to his slow, even breaths.


	2. Life Sucks, Then You Die

As I woke, I felt tense, ready for a fight. I looked around in the dark, trying to find the danger. Suddenly, I got struck, like a strike from a baseball bat, knocking me to the ground. With a sharp gasp, I sat up and crawled away from my attacker, just to realize it wasn't an attack at all. Bucky was crying out and hitting the wall with his hand, making a metallic, reverberating sound echo through the cave.

I sighed in relief, knowing there wasn't an enemy to fight. Then it sunk in how bad this was. He was a super soldier. He could crush me without breaking a sweat. So, I did the only thing I could, I got as far away from him as possible, and waited it out.

I sat with my arms wrapped around my legs, and hummed my favorite song. I repeated it over and over again, until the cave finally fell silent. I sighed heavily, and finally released my legs, not realizing I had cut the blood flow off. I spread them out, trying to wake them, accidentally touching Bucky's knee. He grabbed my ankle without hesitation, and held it like a vice. I gasped in pain, and tried to pull away, but he wasn't budging. Whimpering, I tried to pry his fingers off.

"Bucky, let go!" I cried.

Suddenly he released me, breathing heavily. I withdrew my leg, curling back up. He was up, and kneeling before me, before I could slide away. I balled up my fist, just in case he wasn't finished. I tried not to tip him off to my deep fear, as he watched me in the dark.

"Caroline, is that you? Did I hurt you?" He asked after his breathing finally slowed.

I sighed, "Yeah, I'm fine. You were having night terrors. It's to be expected with your history. I didn't mean to touch you, I'm sorry."

He came closer, sliding his hand across the dirt, until it came into contact with my thigh. I flinched, and moved away. He tried again, and I let him continue. He found my knee, and rested his hands there, leaning in close. I tensed up, but tried to keep my breathing slow.

"No, I'm sorry. They can take the Winter Soldier out of my head, but not the memories of what we did. I hadn't had an episode in some time, but I should have known the stress of this place would trigger one. Are you alright, was it a long one?" He said with pain laced in his voice.

"I'm fine. It was pretty long. Um... it's totally fine. You hit me in the gut once, then you grabbed my leg, but nothing severe. I'm fine, really, the cave wall took the brunt of the attack. I'm fine..." I muttered, trying to make it sound trivial, pointless.

"You said that..."

"Well, I am. The more important question is, are you okay?" I asked hesitantly.

He sat quietly for a moment. Suddenly, he pulled me to his chest. I threw my arms out in surprise, unsure what to do as he slid his warm arms around me. Eventually, I relaxed, and hugged him back. I wasn't sure why I was trusting him, but I knew he needed the physical contact, after his nightmare, so I held onto him with almost as much intensity as he was holding me.

"What's this for?" I asked softly.

"Caring, even though I'm not exactly at my best." He responded with a gentle tone.

I held him as long as he wanted, and I really didn't mind. He finally released me, and pulled back gently. He was radiating heat, and being apart from him, I finally felt the cold of the cave. Before he could move away again, I grabbed his hand.

"Are you feeling better?" I asked, trying to convey my legitimate concern.

"Yeah, thank you. How's your head? Are you still able and willing to help me find my friends?" He asked with cynicism in his voice.

I groaned, "I'm fine. I'm here for you, Bucky. Let's go find your friends. Then maybe we can find mine..." I added, wincing.

Bucky audibly hit himself, as he exclaimed, "Of course. Of course you want to find your own friends. Sorry. We will try to find everyone we can. Did you see anyone you know disappear?"

"Yeah, a couple of my colleagues disappeared right before I did. Let's get out of the dark, and I'll try to remember who they were." I stated as I moved around Bucky, and slid my hand along the wall, trying to make my way out of the cave.

Bucky just grunted, and followed closely behind me. As we reached the exit, I took in a deep breath, and looked around. It wasn't much of a landscape, but at least we were free from the dark. Sitting in the pitch black had made me feel claustrophobic.

The mist spread before us, but behind us was the massive clay wall, too tall to see the top from our vantage point. I glanced up the wall to the sky, trying to find the source of the light, to no avail. There was no one source, just a glow coming from all above us. I sighed and turned my attention back to Bucky.

"Where do we start?" I asked as I stared intently into his forlorn eyes, which I hadn't had a good look at before.

Bucky rubbed his neck, and looked out into the mist. "Well, I tried walking through the mist last time, and only found you, even though I had been out there for hours. So, maybe we should try following the wall instead. I mean, maybe more people found shelter like ours."

I nodded, and suggested, "Maybe we should split up, search in both directions. You know, cover twice the distance, and have twice the chances of finding others."

Bucky shook his head, and glanced at my scalp. "You're injured." he moved my hair to look at the cut. "I shouldn't let you wander around here by yourself. You could have a concussion, now that I think about it."

I gently pulled his hand down from my head, and held it. I muttered, "Don't worry about me. I'm fine. I'll make it back, and so will you. You don't need to worry about me. Now, let's do this, we take a certain number of steps, and turn around if we find nothing. Deal?"

He nodded, and stepped closer, taking both of my hands in his. I glanced down at our intertwined fingers, smiling. Yet another surprise. I turned my eyes back up to his face, realizing he was being less romantic, and more pragmatic, trying to hold my complete attention.

"If anything happens, you run right back here. Okay? We walk two thousand steps. If we don't find anything we come back immediately, you hear me. If we do find something... well, we get back here, and wait for the other, and we'll deal with it together. I don't want you taking anyone on by yourself. Okay?"

"So you wanted me to come back here, right..." I gave him a goofy grin, to which he rolled his eyes. I groaned, "Yes, okay, yes. I swear I'll come back. I won't do anything stupid or reckless, only if you can promise me the same..." I replied, giving him a knowing smile.

He scoffed, and took my cheeks in his hands. "I won't do anything stupid. Now, go, I don't particularly love this plan. Oh, and be careful." He replied, as he kissed my forehead, and sent me away.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going. See you in a few." I whispered.

I stumbled away, watching him over my shoulder, until he disappeared into the orange mist. I sighed quietly, trying not to have an anxiety attack. He may have just come into my personal life a day ago, but I was afraid for him. Why the hell did I suggest going in opposite directions?

As I slid my hand along the wall, staying within reach, I counted my steps. At step One Thousand, I heard a loud cry from the mist. Jumping, I paused. The voice sounded strangely familiar. I stopped, and searched for the source. Suddenly, a reddish glow came through the orange.

Wanda Maximoff. I had seen the footage of her and her brother's transformations. It had been a gruesome sight to behold. I hate that I knew her first by that tortured cry. Before I could stop myself, I ran towards her.

As I broke through the mist, I found her standing within a field of red energy. She was losing control, crying out in pain. I approached the edge of the field, and watched her intently. Her eyes were blood red, and glowing. As I came to a stop, I kicked a rock into the red energy. She glared up at me, growling wildly.

She lifted her hand, and picked me up off the ground by my throat. I tried to cry, but she had cut off my airflow. I grabbed at my neck, trying to release myself from the invisible grip around it. I was in trouble now. Staring down at her, I clawed at my own flesh. She stared back, crying out again, like she wanted to let go, but couldn't. As spots flashed across my vision, a second force knocked me from the sky.

As I rolled across the ground, the invisible grip was broken. I gasped, and let out a small laugh, just grateful to be alive. Righting myself, I looked around, seeking out my savior. Just as I glanced across the mist, a man with large wings came into view. Of course, The Falcon, Sam Wilson. This Thanos guy just had to kill off half of Earth's greatest defenders. Who else could possibly be here?

Rubbing my neck, I croaked, "Lord, if I knew I'd be the one getting magically strangled, I would of stuck with Bucky."

Sam turned his attention towards me, as he asked, "Bucky Barnes is in this hell hole? Where?"

I glanced up at him then back at Wanda, admitting, "He and I split up. We were looking for other survivors. Are you guys alright?"

Sam glanced at Wanda. "Some of us lost more than others." He knelt down outside Wanda's energy field, "Wanda, can you handle this? Bucky's here, and who knows who else. We need to go." He whispered.

A moment passed before she let out a small sob, and dropped the energy field. Sam took in a deep breath, and approached her, gently rubbing her back. She suddenly sat upright, and approached me.

"Take us to Bucky. Maybe he found the other Avenger's."

I nodded, and looked around me. It all looked the same. Shit. I glanced over my shoulder, and gave them a guilty smile.

I confessed, "I don't know which way the wall is."

Sam quirked an eyebrow at me, and thrust into the sky. A moment passed, and he landed back in the same spot. He looked at us with a cocky grin.

"This way." He stated matter of factly, walking forward.

I let Wanda go ahead of me, and followed closely behind. She wasn't evil, but I didn't exactly want her behind me. As we approached the wall again, I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. I smiled as I touched my fingertips to the cold stone.

"This way." I said, and started back the way I had come.

After what had felt like a lifetime, we finally came up on the mouth of the cave. As it came into view, so did Bucky. I grinned, and started towards him, glad he was still okay. When he spotted me, he took a lumbering step forward, and wrapped me up in a bone crushing hug. He seemed to be happy to see me as well. As we held each other, someone cleared their throat inconspicuously. Begrudgingly I released him, and looked around, embarrassed.

"So, it takes some hellscape shit for you to pick up a girl," Sam quipped, sarcastically.

Bucky rolled his eyes, but reached his hand out, shaking the man's hand. As his eyes landed on Wanda, his annoyed expression dropped, his eyes filling with sorrow. He approached her slowly, and took her up in a quick, but sincere hug. As he released her, he looked into her heartbreaking eyes. I could tell he knew why she was crying out there. What had Thanos done to her?

"I'm so sorry this happened. Vision was one of the good ones. If we get out of here, I will end Thanos myself." He whispered, taking her arm, giving it a gentle squeeze, before turning his attention to the rest of us.

I half smiled, but suddenly felt a presence behind me. I spun around, and locked eyes with King T'Challa himself. He came up alongside me, and reached his hand out for me to take. I took it slowly, awestruck. This was the leader of the most technologically advanced country in the world. I was surprised to say the least.

"Ms. Smith, it's good to see you, even in these disturbing circumstances. Are you alright? That is a lot of blood." He said, glancing at my wound.

I released his hand, and tenderly pressed my fingers to the cut on my scalp, it was still dry. Before I could tell T'Challa it was dry, Bucky was right beside me, checking my head for fresh blood. He was grimacing as he slipped his fingers through my hair, concern etched into his sharp features.

Grabbing his gentle hand, and bringing it down between us, I confirmed, "There's nothing to worry about. It's from before, it hasn't reopened. I'm fine."

He gave me a quick smile, but continued to examine me, that's when he noticed the claw marks on my throat.

"What the hell happened to your neck?!" He questioned me, as he lifted my chin to get a better view of the scratches.

I tried to glance at Wanda and Sam. Bucky continued to look me over, but I wanted to play it down. It was not that big of a deal. I grabbed his hands, and looked him sternly in the eye.

"I know you're worried, but this is not the important issue right now. I startled someone, and they protected themselves. It's no big deal. Tell me, did you find anyone else out in the mist?" I retorted, holding his hands.

He sighed, shaking his head. "I'm sorry. There was no one else. I could hear crying faintly in the distance, but I couldn't tell from where. I'm hoping anyone else close enough will find there way to us. Or we can take another go at a search and rescue. But for now, we should get inside." He turned to look at the others. "Do any of you have a light source?"

Wanda scoffed, and made a glowing orb. She started towards the cave, and sent the light into the depths. She was incredible, being able to do that on command. I had always wanted abilities. Dumbfounded, I followed her in, giving her some distance.

As we climbed towards the back, I realized that it was much larger than it had seemed. It wasn't very deep, but it opened into a wide cavern of red rock. I looked around in awe at the place, when my eyes landed on the bloody rocks, where I had knocked my head.

"Well, that was definitely worse than I had expected." I claimed, as I tried to cover the dark stain with dirt.

"Did Barnes do that? I saw the blood on your shirt." Wanda questioned, showing little emotion.

I gave her a small smile, "No, I did it to myself. I was so eager to find the back of the cave, I ran right into one of these sharp rocks." I replied, pointing at the jagged ridges on the back wall.

"Listen, I'm sorry I hurt you back there. You were right, you did startle me, but worse over, I couldn't stop myself once I had started." Wanda admitted, obviously ashamed.

I took her by the shoulder, and whispered, "I'm sorry. You lost someone important. I don't know how I would respond in the same situation. I don't blame you. I'm definitely surprised by you, but I don't blame you. Okay?"

She nodded once, and walked away, taking a seat against the wall.

A moment later, Bucky came through the narrow tunnel, and dropped into the open space. He looked around, obviously surprised. He had been as unaware of the magnitude of the cavern as I had been. He caught my eye, and grinned, before coming to sit beside me. There was an entire cave yo stay in, but he chose to camp with me. He rubbed my leg, and looked at the wall, his hand pausing as he caught sight of the blood.

"I didn't realize you had lost so much blood. I thought you said it wasn't that bad?"

I nodded, saying, "I know, I was surprised by the amount, as well. I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "No, don't be. I never want to see you hurt, not like that. I know it's only been a day since we met, or whatever, but I feel like I need to keep you from harm. I don't know..."

I grabbed his hand from my leg, and squeezed it gently. "Bucky, you know I can protect myself, but it's still nice that you've got my back. Know that I will do what it takes to protect you as well."

He nodded, but continued to stare at our hands. "It goes further than that. I would protect you, because if anything happened to you... I don't know what I'd do. You are... important to me."

I smiled up at him, and released his hand. Slowly I spread my palm across his cheek, rubbing it with my thumb. He glanced at me with those dreamy eyes, breathing heavily. I quirked my eyebrow, and pulled him to me.

He smiled, and protested, "We don't have to..." his words were lost in my lips. He tensed for a moment, but gradually slid his metal fingers into my hair, pulling me closer. I parted my lips, taking a gasping breath. He was intoxicating. He chuckled quietly, and captured my lips with his once more.

Suddenly, someone coughed loudly from across the cave. Bucky quickly pulled away, glancing at his hands, like nothing had happened. I laughed under my breath, and scooted away a bit, examining my finger nails.

"Okay then. I guess that we're going to act like that didn't just happen." Sam whispered.

I picked up a small rock, and pelted him in the shoulder. He glanced at us, trying to figure out which one had thrown it. I dropped my hands in my lap, trying to act inconspicuous. After a moment, Sam huffed, and went on looking over his Falcon wings. Bucky gently elbowed me, and beamed.

"If you hadn't done that, I would've."

I laughed quietly, and nudged him back, starting up a light conversation. As we talked, the others started to wind down. One by one, they slumped against the walls, finally resting. They deserved some down time. Smiling at the strange sight, I leaned against Bucky, wrapping my arms around his bicep, getting into our routine. He fell asleep first, and I was lulled to sleep by his slow, deep breaths.

.


	3. Why Can't We Be Friends

I woke with a start, my usual reaction waking up in the cave. Checking my surroundings, I noticed Wanda's orb was barely lit, sending a shadowy hue around the cave. I tried to sit up, but an arm was draped across my belly, effectively pinning me down

Glancing at him, I tried to remember when we had changed positions, when he had laid us down. Or when he had wrapped his entire body over me. Don't get me wrong. I was certainly enjoying his extra warmth. It was more the fact that I was losing track of things the longer we were here than anything.

Slowly, as not to disturb Bucky, I maneuvered around to face him, gazing at him, I tried to memorize his features. Was it creepy watching a grown man sleep, sure. But who could blame me. He looked like a god with his long dark hair, and chiseled features.

Lost in thought, I didn't realize Bucky had woken up. He was watching me when I finally glanced up at him. He seemed confused. Him and he both.

"What's wrong? You look... concerned." He whispered as he looked me over. "I didn't hurt you again, did I?"

He went to release me, but I slipped my hands into his wavy hair, shaking my head.

"No, far from, in fact." I mused.

Bucky held me as the others stirred, and started to move about the cave. As we watched them go about their day, Wanda's light grew brighter, and brighter, almost blinding us. Suddenly, she screamed, and stood like a vampire from their coffin in a cheesy horror flick. I jumped, and we sat up abruptly, Bucky holding me close. He was trying to turn me away from her, protecting me. He evidently didn't trust her

Watching Wanda, I realized she was in distress. Sighing, I released Bucky, who stared at me, confused, before releasing me. Cautiously, I crept towards Wanda. She was still sleeping, but she was thrashing around, sending off red wisps in every direction.

As I approached her, I touched one, sending a surge of pain up my arm. I fell back, gasping for air. Bucky tore me away, checking me for injuries. He was less excited about the situation than I was. I patted him on the arm, and tried to get out of his grasp. He held me tighter.

"Someone needs to wake her. She is going to hurt herself. Just let me try." I whispered, Running a hand up his arm.

"Okay, but if it gets to be too much, you let someone else try. Got it? You know, it really should be me, I'm genetically enhanced, and she is less likely to hurt me."

I chuckled, "Yes, I am keenly aware, but she needs someone that can help her calm down. No offense, but you all look like you're ready to kill."

He sighed, and nodded, acknowledging the fact that he and the others were still wearing their armor and war gear. He smiled down at me, gave me a short kiss, and made a gesture back towards Wanda. Like I needed his permission. I nodded, and slipped from his grasp.

Approaching her, I could feel a tingle of energy in my fingers, growing stronger with each step. She was giving off waves of energy. It rippled over me as I approached her. I stopped right on the edge of the wisps, and took a deep breath. Avoiding the energy as much as possible, I maneuvered my way closer to her. When she was within reach, I paused.

"Wanda? It's time to wake up." I whispered, placing my hand lightly on her shoulder.

She thrashed, and nearly struck me, but I dodged her attack. As I shook her, she began to cry, her energy emitting from every part of her. I gasped as it burned my fingers, but I pressed even harder. I placed a second hand on her other shoulder, absorbing twice as much energy.

Between pained gasps, I whimpered, "Wanda. Wake up. You're alright, you need to wake up now."

She screamed, and flew out from under my grasp. She rose off the ground, nearly hitting her head on the cave ceiling. Her eyes opened slowly, and she focused on me. It was a feat at that moment, but I smiled up at her, trying to show her I meant no ill will. She started heaving in large breaths, tears flowing down her cheeks. She was in a lot of pain. I attempted to stand, to help her, suddenly wobbling.

Bucky caught me before I could fall, and tried to pull me away. Wanda grabbed my hand, and smiled down at me. Nodding back, I matched her expression, trying to reassure her. I hoped she would be okay. I hadn't known about her being with Vision, but it couldn't have been easy to lose him so suddenly. As we all recovered from our startling wake up call, we heard voices echoing in from the tunnel.

"It's a cave, guys! We finally found safety! Everyone, in!" A young voice shouted.

I glanced around, and saw everyone's worried expressions. We stood at the ready for anything, as we waited for the newcomers to appear. Eventually, a teenage girl, with messy curls, popped out of the tunnel.

"Um, Parker, this cave is occupied." She cautioned, as she glanced over her shoulder.

A moment later, Peter Parker stuck his head around the corner. He glanced between the five of us, and groaned. With annoyance in his eyes, he immediately shot webs at Bucky and Sam, pinning them to the wall. He attempted to catch Wanda, who blocked herself and forced his webs back at him, catching him in them. He sighed heavily, looking around the room.

"Um, listen. We have to be buddies, because this is the only safety from the crazy bad guys outside, and I mean bad. They killed some of us. I know we all fought each other like two years ago, and that's still, ya know, fresh, but we are going to need each other now. You get me?" Peter instructed with a fake vibrato.

I glanced around, and sighed, they were staring daggers at him. If looks could kill... I gave Bucky a severe look, and stepped forward. Everyone's eyes followed my every move as approached Peter.

"We would love to help you out. The boys are just ticked because you caught them like it was nothing. Anyway, why don't you release them, and we can talk. How many others do you have with you?" I queried, giving him my best smile.

Peter shrugged, cut himself free, and popped back out of the cave. He reappeared with three others. One was another teen, but two were older. I gasped as I realized who they were. One was my colleague, Ari, and the other was Maria Hill. I ran straight for my friend, and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Ari, I can't believe it! I've been looking for you! And the others, did you find Ben or Kelly?!" I gushed, excitedly.

She barely held me. I pulled away, and gave her a questioning look. Refusing to make eye contact with me, she let out a watery sob. That was a bad sign. I rubbed her arms gently, and sighed.

"No, no, it's okay. Tell me everything."

She wiped her eyes as she whimpered, "We found Ben and Kelly, but they killed by those horrible people. Caroline, they aren't even killing for survival, they did it out of boredom. If it hadn't been for Peter Parker," she glanced at him, "We would all be dead. God, he's dead! Ben's dead..."

I shook my head, and gave her another hug, before helping her sit down. She looked like she was about to drop. The others did the same after Peter dewebbed the men. Bucky sat beside Wanda, as I comforted Ari, who was distraught. A moment passed, and everyone finally got comfortable. I glanced towards Bucky, who gave me a sympathetic smile, mouthing, 'Are you alright?'

I nodded, and mouthed, 'Yeah. I'm fine.'

He smiled, and turned his attention back to Wanda, Hill, and Sam. They were having a deep discussion about something. I glanced at Peter Parker and the girl, who were also having an animated conversation. They seemed to know one another. I couldn't help but be glad that they had each other in this place. Still, I hoped I wouldn't find any other friends of mine, because that meant they had survived on Earth through whatever this Thanos villain had done.

As time moved slowly, the cave became silent. The newcomers were exhausted. What the hell was going on out there? Once Ari had fallen asleep, I let her slump back against the rock. I stretched a bit and looked around the cave, the others were starting to fall asleep as well. It was a rather solemn day. As my eyes landed on Bucky, he turned to stare back, smiling.

I looked towards the cave entrance, and gestured for him to follow me out. I needed some air. It was like the cave was trying to crush me. He complied immediately, holding me by the waist as we climbed down the tunnel. When I finally reached the open air, I took a deep breath. He slowly wrapped those strong arms around me, bringing his lips to my neck with a gentle kiss.

Bucky held me tighter, as he confided in me, "This place is... psychotic, Caroline. Hill was telling the others there are people out here that have lost their minds, and are killing whomever they run into. I guess they live in another cliff face fifteen miles or so from here. She says that she saw them kill a man, and just leave the body. Whoever these people are, they need to be stopped."

"You're right," I replied quietly, "but first, they need some rest. We have half of the Avenger's, it's going to be fine. My only problem is, if we're already dead, how can there be people dying a second time in here? God, poor Ben, he was Ari's fiancé. And Kelky, she was just s kid." I sighed, and turned to look into Bucky's burning eyes. "And if we aren't dead, where the hell are we?"

Bucky looked around, and shook his head. "I have no idea. Maybe Thanos just transported us, instead of killing us. But if we are alive, why haven't we had any basic human needs?"

"You know what's even more insane? That someone no one heard of before, what, a couple weeks ago, has the power to affect so many lives... All the same, I hope no one else is out there alone. What might happen to them if the do meet these others, I don't know." I wrapped my arms around his neck. "But, I do have one human need, right now... I need you to kiss me."

Bucky burst out laughing, "Are you sure that's a need?"

I looked up at the sky, and gave him a coy smile, nodding my head vigorously.

"Oh, well, how can I deny you your basic human needs?" He grinned, and wrapped his arms tightly around my waist, lifting me to eye level.

Gasping, I quirked an eyebrow, looking at him questioningly. He smiled back, warmly. He was incredibly handsome in that moment, desire flashing in jus eyes. I quickly slipped my fingers into his hair, and pulled his lips to mine, sighing. He released my waist with one hand, and slid his loose hand up my back. As the kiss intensified, I twirled his hair in my fingers, accidentally pulling it.

He gasped, and gave me an accusing smirk. I glanced around, trying to look innocent. He was not buying it. Pursing his lips, he spun around. Roughly, he pressed me up against the stone wall, crushing me between him and the cool stone. He looked me over once, and crushed my lips with his, making me gasp with the sudden intensity. God, he was good.

As he released me, he asked me a surprising question. "Do you have a boyfriend back on Earth?"

I coughed, and dropped my eyes, saying, "Um, no... no. I haven't had a boyfriend in a... while. I travel a lot, and significant others tend to want to spend more than a few days a month together. So, sorry, no, you are not the other man, as it were."

Bucky nodded, obviously glad, but also trying to think of a comeback. He suddenly grinned. I winced, getting ready for it.

"Well, I've got you beat. Most women like it when there boyfriends aren't assassins."

"Lord almighty, Bucky. Of course you went there. But you know what, I don't even mind that you were an assassin, because you aren't that person anymore, and you know it. If you were, you would be out with those monsters, and you aren't. You are one of the the heroes now. So, it's kind of a moot point wouldn't you say?"

Bucky shook his head, and pulled me into a gentle hug, kissing me on the forehead.

"Caroline Smith, I may not be an assassin anymore, but I am no hero."

I furrowed my brows as I objected. "James Buchanan Barnes, you are wrong. A hero is not a person that is unscathed by darkness. A hero is a person that, in spite of the darkness, rises above it, and says enough. They push back. And Bucky, if that isn't you, then I don't know who it is."

Bucky grinned at me like I had just given him a billion dollars. I was glad I had proved my point, that he was a good man. I smiled back, and he pulled me to him, pressing his lips gently to mine. I responded by twisting my hands in his hair, holding him to me. Bucky grinned against my lips, but continued to slip his fingers into my hair, gently, but firmly grabbing hold. I had never felt so in sync with someone like that before. After my lungs began to protest, I pulled away, taking in a deep breath. We smiled at each other as Bucky dropped his forehead gently against mine.

Sitting in each others arms, we began to hear muffled voices from inside the cave. The others were awake. We begrudgingly let go of one another and started back inside. That would not be our last rendezvous. We both glanced into the mist for any sign of the killers, suddenly remembering the danger.

Coming into earshot of our team, we heard Sam say, "I haven't felt hungry at all. Maybe we're just here, our souls, not our bodies. Like a spirit limbo."

Finally someone was going to bring that up. It went on for hours, the theories of where we were. So far we had, dead in limbo, stuck in some soul stone Thanos had taken control of, and just ghosts. Yeah, the teens thought that one up.

Too quickly, everyone became severely exhausted. We all retreated into our own designated corners, most of them sitting together. Laying beside me, Bucky held me, wrapping me up in his arms. Staring into his gentle eyes, I was out like a light.

And so, that's how life went on. Bucky and I would wake before the others, and sneak out for a few minutes of privacy. Then they would wake and we would discuss our world. We decided that we slept more because it was the only way to recharge without a food or water source, something we didn't seem to need. And that it was always light outside because this wasn't a planet, just a realm. I guess those were things.

Eventually another joined us, a man named Peter Quill. No one was particularly glad to see him. I guess the other Peter and him had almost had a chance, one of many, to beat Thanos, but Quill let his emotions get in the way. I could understand it, and I kind of took him in, like the stray puppy he was portraying himself to be. And so life went on.

It was a normal 'morning' for Bucky and I. We woke up, and took our stroll outside. As soon as we approached the cave, Bucky picked me up off the ground, and pinned me against the wall. Wrapping my legs around him, I captured his lips with mine. He put his hands on my thighs as we continued further, getting kind of hot and heavy. He knew just what to do yo me, making me gasp with each touch.

He slipped his lips from my mouth, and started down my collarbone, kissing over my chest, before stopping at my shirts highest point. He pulled back, grinning. Breathing heavily, I smiled back, running my hands over his chest. He was gonna be the end of me with that smile.

Out of the cave we heard our call back to reality. They were all laughing. Quill was telling jokes. I guess it had been long enough for the team to forgive his mistake, though I can't lie, I had no idea how long that had been./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #222222;"Bucky reluctantly released my legs, and lowered me back onto my own two feet. I kept my arms around his neck, reaching on tiptoe to kiss him again, before pulling away, laying my forehead to his chest.

"I hope this isn't how it's going to be forever," I admitted, "Eventually I'd like to do something more than just make out with you."

He gave me a surprised expression, and exclaimed, "You would scandalize me like that! How dare you?!"

I rolled my eyes, and moaned, "Shut up! You know you want to do it, too!"

He nodded, acting like he was thinking it over. I flicked him on the back of the head, gasping. He started laughing, but I caught his mouth in our last, gentle kiss before we had to return to reality.

As we held one another, I began to feel on edge. Something was wrong. I pulled away, looking around. As I glanced into the fog, there was a sudden bang. Jumping, I tried to pull Bucky into the cave. He wouldn't budge. A second shot echoed, and suddenly Bucky dropped to the ground, groaning.


	4. Fight! Fight! Fight!

It all happened so quickly. One moment we were laughing, and kissing. The next, Bucky was on the ground, a bullet in his gut. He glanced up at me, as I scanned the mist. The assailant was nowhere to be found. I fell to his side, and held my hand over the wound, trying to slow the blood. How could I let him go like that. Another shot rang through the valley, the bullet hitting the stone above my head. I gasped, and laid over Bucky, trying to protect him.

"Get out of here, Caroline, before you get shot, too." Bucky warned me, trying to push me off of him.

"Stop. I'm not leaving you, now, get up, and let's get you to safety. Stand up. Now!" I demanded.

He glanced up at me, watching me until another bullet grazed me. I gasped, and held my arm, staunching the blood. My own pain pulled him out of his trance, he grabbed me, bragging me into the cave, squeezing into the tight tunnel. I wrapped my good arm around him, and we toppled into the cavern.

Sitting upright, I pulled off my button down, and balled it up. As I applied it to the bullet wound, the others rushed towards us. They were staring at us with looks of horror. I tried to hold pressure on Bucky's stomach, while trying to breathe through my own pain. How did such a small cut hurt so bad? As I watched Bucky, Sam dropped at my side, and looked over Bucky, confused. I took a deep breath, and glanced around the cave, looking at the others with fear plastered across my features."Those murderers are outside! They found us, and shot Bucky. We were just sitting there, doing nothing. They just shot him!" I said, trying to collect my thoughts.

Bucky groaned, "And you. They shot you too."

Sam sat beside me, and tried to move my hands. I gave him a sharp glance, holding firm. He was not going to make me leave. He gave me a sympathetic smile, and nodded his head. Nudging my hands, he moved them out of the way. I let out a heavy breath, and nodded, dropping back on my pockets, trying to catch my breath, the smell of blood choking me.

Quill knelt at my side, and wrapped my arm in a part of his shirt. I gave him a quick, thankful glance before I took a deep breath, and slid back towards Bucky. I held his head in my hands as shared an agonized smile with me. I couldn't lose him, not like this. We were going to be fine. There was no other option.

"Hey, you're going to be alright. I'm so sorry. We shouldn't have been out there. I knew it was dangerous, and I still suggested we do it. I'm sorry, this is my fault." I said rubbing small circles over his temples.

"No, don't you dare..." He groaned, staring up at me with watery eyes. "I went out there with you because... I wanted to. I knew there was a possible threat. You are not to blame, Caroline."

Sam sighed, "I am sorry. We are going to get everyone that can fight, and we're going to stop them." He glanced at Quill, and patted him on the shoulder. "Quill, let's go. Barnes, do you think you will be alright for a while?"

Bucky huffed, and rolled his eyes. He pushed Sam's hands and my shirt off the wound, and plunged his metal fingers into the hole in his jacket. He did it like it was nothing. Immediately, they clinked against something, and he yanked the bullet from his stomach. I stared at the bullet in disgust before I glanced at the wall. Who does something like that?

"Now the wound can heal properly. I'm a super soldier, I'll be good as new soon enough..." Bucky said, as he tried to catch my eye.

Sam gagged audibly, and stood. "You're a freak, Barnes, but you're right. Anyway, Parker, Quill, get suited up, and we'll do this. Caroline, keep a close eye on this psychopath, and we'll be back."

Bucky tried to sit up, watching Wanda, Sam, Quill, Maria and Peter file into the tunnel. I grabbed him by the shoulder, and tried to push him back down. He was not going anywhere on my watch.

"Stop! I'm not letting you go get shot again." I snapped, holding him down.

"You really don't need to worry. I'll be fine. I promise." Bucky assured me.

Sighing deeply, I let him go. He sat up against the wall, and pressed my shirt against his stomach, wincing, his eyes shutting. Finally, he was showing weakness after yanking a bullet out of his gut by hand.

"That was disturbing, you ripping the bullet out of your own stomach like that." I stated, cleaning my fingernails.

He rubbed his neck, saying, "I know, that was kind of extreme. I just didn't want to have anyone fussing over me. I heal quickly, and I really didn't want that inside me forever."

I nodded, and ran my hands through my hair. "I understand. Now, let's get you comfortable, because damn you if you think that you're going out there."

He smiled as I leaned against him, holding his stomach. He slipped his free hand up my back, massaging my shoulder. With what just happened, I was still on edge, but it helped that he wasn't trying to go get himself killed.

I relaxed, and watched Ari as she joined Peter's friend, trying to comfort the teen. The poor girl was ringing her hands, watching the tunnel with an annoyed, concerned grimace. I knew that look, I hoped that Peter knew how much this girl cared for him.

As we rested, waiting, the cave suddenly trembled. I glanced up at Bucky, who was looking towards the entrance. I sighed, and stood, starting toward the tunnel. He grabbed my hand, and tried to pull me back to his side. I sighed, and knelt before him.

"Don't stress yourself out, I'm just going to go look down the tunnel, make sure we have nothing to worry about." I whispered.

He nodded, and released me. I smiled, and slid along the wall, looking around the corner. I hoped to the gods we were winning. Immediately, I saw red glowing within the orange. Wanda was fighting off two men, barely within sight in the mist.

I watched as she threw them into the air, and dropped them back on the hard clay. When they didn't get back up, Wanda moved on. I sighed, and made my way back to Bucky. Sitting, I gave him a knowing look. It was hard to think, even in death, they had to fight wars.

"I think we're winning, if you can call it that." I said, dropping in the middle of the cave.

The fight seemed to go on for hours. Then, the first of our people started to appear. I jumped up, and watched as Peter climbed through the entrance. His friend immediately pulled him into a hug. The others joined us, sitting in a line, leaning against the wall. We hadn't lost a single person, it was a bloody true miracle, literally.

Wanda was shaking, her hands glowing softly. I glanced at her, sure she had done what she had to, and that we were safe again. Sam pulled his wings off, and tossed them to the ground, trying to catch his breath, his head in his hands. I looked him over, and sighed. He was covered in blood, but he didn't have a cut on him. That was when I knew, this wasn't heaven or hell. We were alive, and we were meant to suffer.

As they cleaned up, we watched them, worried. One by one, they found their spots in the cave and stared at the walls, blank looks on their faces. I didn't dare ask what had happened, so I snuck away, and slipped down the tunnel. As I reached the opening, I could smell it. Looking around, there was a heavy amount of blood. Four men and two women laid before me, more were likely hidden in the mist. I stepped back against the wall, closing my eyes. Lost in my own thoughts, I jumped I as someone slipped a hand slipped into mine, and held tight. I opened one eye, and looked up at Bucky, who was standing extremely close.

He smiled sadly, saying, "You agree that it was us or them, right?"

I nodded, looking around. Of course, because if they wanted to talk or negotiate, they wouldn't have shot first. He placed his metal hand on my cheek, pulling my face away from the gruesome sight. I rolled my eyes, and placed a hand over his, sighing. He couldn't possibly think that he could protect me from the pain and death. Bucky rubbed a small circle on my cheek, trying to comfort me. Gently, I pulled his hand from my skin. Bringing both of his hands together, I looked him in the eye.

"I know that you guys don't usually do clean up, but I don't like the idea of seeing the bodies of our enemies outside our shelter every time I need air. Can we bury them, or maybe do a fire burial? Because I can't just do nothing. We don't know what led them to act the way they did. Remember, we both almost lost our minds out there, in the mist." I said, staring him down, trying to convince him.

He nodded immediately. "Yes, absolutely. I agree they deserve better, even if they did attack us. I didn't think about it, what if we hadn't found each other? Do you think we would have lost it, and tried to kill people we came across, because I mean, people do insane things out of fear."

I shrugged, and slipped my hands free from Bucky's grasp. I started back into the tunnel, Bucky close behind. I was on a mission, and I needed help. We gathered Sam, Quill and T'Challa. They were the only ones awake at the moment. We told them our plan, and they unanimously agreed.

We slowly gathered the bodies of the fallen men and women, that ended up coming to ten, two women and eight men total. As we gathered them on top of one another, I started to tremble. I had seen death, working for the defense department, but I had never done anything like that before. I hoped that it would be the last time.

Once the last body was gathered, Sam walked back into the cave, and came back with a tiny canister, pouring the liquid onto the bodies. He took a deep breath, and pulled the lighter from his pocket, igniting it. I turned away slowly. I wasn't ready to watch the bodies burn. Sam dropped the lighter, setting ablaze the gasoline. I tried to walk away, but Bucky grabbed my hand, and pulled me into a hug.

"This was a good thing you did. It's horrible that we had to do it, but I'm impressed that you wanted to give them a proper burial." Bucky whispered, holding me against him.

I nodded, saying, "I'd hope that if I died that someone would do the same. I hope that isn't as naive as it sounds."

Bucky sighed, and kissed me on the forehead. As the fire continued, the others began to file out, likely able to hear the blaze from the cave. They slowly circled about the flames, and dropped their heads. It was a solemn sight, watching them pay their respects. I slipped out of Bucky's arms, and pulled him forward to join the others.

After more than an hour had passed, the blaze had finally slowed. We watched as the bodies became no more than ash and bone. Slowly, the wind blew away all traces, leaving us staring at the charred ground. It was like they had never really existed. The group slowly walked away, leaving Bucky and myself alone.

"This place can't be Heaven or Hell. We are very much alive." Bucky said slowly. "Punishment is meant to fit the crime, right? If that's the truth, then why the hell would the Avenger's be forced to fight like this? They aren't the kind that get punished, they're the kind that gets to live the good life when they die. So, we can't possibly be dead."

I nodded, glancing up at him. "They're not the only ones who don't deserve this."

He rolled his eyes, saying, "If you don't think I deserve to suffer when I die, then you may be insane after all."

I elbowed him, and turned away, walking along the wall. He groaned out loud, and followed. Of course he didn't believe he deserved to live happily ever after. I glanced up at him, trying to picture him doing what his file said he did. I couldn't do it. Walking at my side, he watched me closely. I glanced at him, but kept on walking.

"You know," I said, "What you did was absolutely horrible. You were the most infamous assassin the U.N. had ever heard of. Spanning over decades, you killed more people than I'm sure we even know.'

'The thing is, mind control is tricky. You have no choice usually, but you can often remember what you did. There are stories of mind control victims that knew what they were doing, but were powerless to stop it. If our file is right, that is exactly what it was like for you.'

'So, you see, though you physically did those things, and you remember it as if you did it, it's not the case, not really. You were there, but you were completely powerless to stop it. So, you may believe, for that reason, you deserve to suffer the way we are. Only problem is, that's a lie you've told yourself so long, you've started to believe it.'

'But, you should know, I know your file like the back of my hand. Which is how I know you weren't to blame for what you did. HYDRA is, and that's it. That's where the line of blame ends. So, believe me when I say that you deserve all the same kind of peace as everyone else in that cave."

Bucky stopped in his tracks, and watched me, likely looking for any sign that I might be lying. I stared back with a sincere, soft smile. Suddenly, he grabbed me by the shoulders, and captured my lips in a soft kiss. I gasped, too surprised to reciprocate. As quickly as it started, he pulled away, to my dismay. He laughed, as I pouted. Smiling, he laid his head against mine, and closed his eyes.

"Steve Rogers always tried to tell me it wasn't my fault, that I didn't do those things. Only, I did. I was there, I watched as I hurt people, as I killed people. He always just wanted me to forget it. Like it never happened.'

'But at least you acknowledge I was there. I did those things, I was in my head with the Winter Soldier. Even if I couldn't stop myself. All the same, it made me hate myself. I had nothing left to live for but the job, not until Steve showed back up.'

'I'll pay for those deaths for the rest of my existence. People are dead, and I didn't stop myself from hurting them, but I couldn't have, not then. I wasn't of my own mind."

I leaned back to look him in the eye. "I could have told you that, babe..."

Bucky laughed, and wrapped me up in his arms, kissing me on my bare shoulder. I tensed and took a deep breath trying to control myself. He was killing me, making it impossible to be that close to him. He knew it too. He pulled away, running his hands down my arms, giving me a mischievous look.

"Stop, Bucky. This can't happen, not when there are seven other people in that cave. I want to, but this place isn't exactly paradise. So..." I said, trying to look away from his intense eyes.

"Come on. Maybe we can just get away a while." Bucky said, sliding his hand up my arm, grabbing my attention, and holding eye contact.

"This is such an inconvenient place to finally find... whatever this is." I twisted my hair around my fingers. "So, maybe we should join the others, before you get shot again. Truth is, we don't know if there are others out here that are looking to kill us." I said, trying to sound sarcastic.

Bucky looked around, and put a hand to his healing stomach, a sharp expression spreading across his face. I glanced at his stomach. What had that been about? Bucky chuckled, and rubbed my cheek. He wasn't going to elaborate. So, I hip checked him, and grabbed his hand. Climbing back into the cave, we reluctantly joined the others, who were sitting around a ball of Wanda's energy.

As I dropped next to Quill, he glanced at me, then Bucky, and gave him a sly smile. I rolled my eyes, and elbowed them both. They were getting to be good friends, maybe too good. Quill groaned, and turned back to the conversation. Bucky leaned back on his hands, one arm almost wrapped around me. Leaning into him, I listened to Hill tell stories about her time with SHIELD and the infamous Nicky Fury. Peter and his friend were eating it up.

I watched them closely. They were surely animated, but it was becoming more and more apparent that being in that hellscape was taking its toll. Whoever Thanos was, he had succeeded in nothing more than destroying lives. Those children didn't deserve what they got. None of us did.

I sat up, watching the others as they dropped like flies. Eventually, I was the last person standing. Even Bucky was slumping against the wall behind us, his metal arm still wrapped around my waist. I huddled up to him, absorbing his heat. The cave wasn't cold, but it comforted me to be close to him, especially in our hostile environment. With the soft snores and heavy breathing of the others echoing softly off the cave walls, I finally fell asleep.


	5. Where Do We Go From Here?

"Wake up, Caroline!" Bucky yelled.

I sat bolt upright, and checked my surroundings. Confused, I looked from face to face. We were two short. Peter's friend and Ari were missing. I stood up, and searched the entire space, hoping they were just hidden in the darkness. My original assessment was correct, they were gone. And someone had taken them.I held my head in my hands, trying to process the idea that someone had come in, and taken them right under our noses.

"Caroline, are you alright?" Bucky asked, leaning down to look me in the eyes.

I shook my head, saying, "How can I be? Our friends are gone. Somehow they took them, and none of us heard it happen. I don't know how to feel."

Bucky's expression dropped, and he pulled me into his arms. He was trying to comfort me, but all I wanted to do was go out in search of our friends. We watched the others, who were arguing over a plan to find and save the others. Bucky held onto me tightly, like he didn't want to lose me, too. I gently pulled away, and joined the others in the discussion.

As we continued to strategize, a loud, inhuman cry echoed down the tunnel, reverberating off the cave walls. I glanced up at Bucky, before I bolted for the exit. He chased after me, only catching me as I reached the mist. He picked me up with a grunt, and spun me around, holding me behind him, trying to protect me. He scanned the mist thoroughly, when his head jerked forward.

We heard another odd cry coming from straight ahead. Bucky backed us into the cave just as a group of people appeared, making inhuman noises. Watching them slowly come into view, Bucky took another step into the tunnel. Suddenly, they produced our friends, there hands and ankles bound. Those holding them up, tossed them roughly to the clay.

One of the men stepped forward, holding a gun. "What you did to our men was unforgivable!" He growled, only ten feet away. "This will not be tolerated!"

"You're people tried to attack us first, they shot us, or maybe that was you. Seeing as we didn't find a gun on anyone else. That really only puts the blame for their deaths on your head!" Bucky barked.

The man roared, making me jump. "We will not listen to this! You are the monster! Yes, we know who you are! Winter Soldier. We meant to shoot you, and we should have killed you! You are the murderer."

I tried to get free of Bucky, and made eye contact with the speaker. "Bucky is not the Winter Soldier! What he did was not of his own volition. Even if he was, he didn't kill anyone here. You and your group are the murderers. You killed good people," I gestured towards Ari, "...her boyfriend. You killed someone that was loved, and more than just him. You murdered innocents, and you have the gall to call him a monster?!"

The man glared at me, hissing, "Innocent? Innocent! Those men and women were to blame for this. They were immoral, and deserved to die."

"You think they were immoral? Why do you think we are here, God got angry at us?" I asked sarcastically.

The man pointed the gun at us, and roared, "You are a blasphemer! You will die, too. First, we will kill these two, and then we will work on the rest. They will be payment for spilling our blood. Who should we start with?"

He kept the gun pointed at us, and moved towards our friends. I tried to step up, but Bucky held me tighter, nearly cutting off my air supply. He thought he could stop me from saving our friends. I looked away, and back towards the tunnel. In the darkness, Peter, Quill, Wanda, Hill and Sam were laying in wait. I grinned, and glanced back at the man. Just as I locked eyes with him, he fired a shot into Ari's head.

I screamed, and fought to get loose from Bucky's grasp, who was trying his hardest to get me back into the tunnel. Wanda screamed, rushed forward, and threw her energy at the man and his followers. Quickly, we pushed back into the cave. I cried and I thrashed against Bucky's hold, trying to get free. I didn't know what I could do at that moment, but I had to get back out there, and kill that man. This would end in his blood.

Still pinning me down, Bucky whispered, "It's going to be alright. They're going to stop them, and we'll figure it out. Please, stop fighting me."

I grabbed his arms, and held on for dear life, crying uncontrollably. He tried to comfort me, but my legs gave out. Bucky slowly dropped to the ground, holding me in his lap. I took a heaving breath, as he loosened his grip. As he did, I turned around, and wrapped my arms around his neck, it was childish, but I wanted to be held. He sighed heavily, and wrapped me up in those thick arms, rubbing soothing circles across my back.

Time passed slowly, which gave me a chance to pull myself together. As I stopped sobbing, I gently pulled away from Bucky, wiping the tears away. Bucky held my gaze, as he smiled sympathetically. He was trying to keep me calm, rubbing my arms. It felt almost normal for a moment. I took a few deep breaths, trying to focus on him, on anything that wasn't Ari's frightened eyes. Bucky huffed, gingerly wiping a loose tear from my cheek. I let out a short laugh, and tried to stand.

Bucky held my arm, pulling me back down to the ground. "Wait. Caroline, I know you can handle yourself, but I don't want you to think that you have to go out there and attack. You can let them finish this, and then we will go out there, together. Okay?"

I shook my head, saying, "It's been long enough. They are probably getting rid of the bodies. I need to get out there, and take care of Ari myself."

Bucky huffed, and released me. I stood quickly, and pushed my long hair out of my face. I started towards the tunnel, readying myself. Before I could take more than a step, Bucky jumped up and took my hand, the cool metal sobering me up. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze, and we started out of the cave.

As we reached the entrance, Bucky stopped in his tracks. I glanced around him, and saw what I had expected. There was another raging fire. Moving closer, I stopped as well. Laying with Wanda's jacket over her face and body, rested Ari. I dropped my head, but moved ahead of Bucky, and continued out of the tunnel. Bucky followed, never releasing my hand.

I approached Ari, and knelt beside her. She hadn't been my best friend, but she had been a good person. Her death had been a useless death. I still didn't understand why they had done it. She was innocent, and they had killed her without a second thought.

With anger filling me, I stood, and turned towards the smoldering bodies. I stumbled towards the others, approaching Wanda. She gave me a sympathetic look, before dropping her gaze. She knew what I was going to ask. I heaved in a deep breath, calming myself.

"Did he die? Did you kill him, the man with the gun?" I asked, sharply.

She glanced at the fire, and nodded. "He was the first to go. The others tried to kill the kid after he went down, but Peter got her out of there." She gestured towards Peter and the girl who were sitting against the wall.

"They seem shaken up, but that isn't the worst part. The man's group were distraught after he died, and there was no stopping them. We tried to subdue them, but it was insane. When he went down, they all went psycho, like in a rage. There was no other way." She finished, almost defending herself.

I nodded, saying, "I understand what it took to stop them. I'm glad that man is dead. I hope he suffered."

I returned to Ari, whom Bucky was still standing beside. I sat down, and stared at her, trying to think. What would she have expected, after she died? I'd never planned a funeral, I had no idea how they should go. Bucky dropped beside me, and slid a hand around my shoulders. I shook my head, as the tears popped into my eyes, blurring my vision. I swiped them away, and glanced towards Bucky, who was watching me intently.

"I want to bury her. She deserves better than that," I said, pointing harshly at the flames, "Do you think there is anything we can dig with?"

Bucky nodded, and said, "I can do it. I doubt we'll find anything remotely like a shovel here. Not unless we steal a part of Birdbrain's wings. Though we may still need them."

I glanced at his metal arm, and nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right, we shouldn't waste resources. Are you sure you want to do this though? I can just use a rock to do it myself."

Bucky shook his head vigorously, stating, "She was your friend, you are not doing that. Let me get to work, and I'll come grab you once I'm done."

"Yeah right, I'm staying with you. Where else would I go?" I responded, a little cruelty coming through.

Bucky gave me a concerned glance, but nodded, and stood up. He pulled me up, and gestured towards a spot down the wall. "I'm going to carry her over there, and that's where we'll bury her. She'll be far enough away to give privacy to those that visit her."

"Alright." I muttered.

Bucky leaned down, and effortlessly picked Ari up. He carried her through the mist, where he had gestured. He set her down, and quickly got to it. I slumped down beside her, and watched as he broke the dried earth, acting like it was like digging through sand. He was truly a hero in my eyes.

Bucky finished the site quickly. He was at the bottom of the hole, watching me as he finished. I frowned absentmindedly, staring blankly at the dirt as he scooped armful after armful of red clay out of the hole. He heaved a deep breath, and finally climbed out of the hole, kneeling beside me as he gently sqeezed my shoulder.

"Alright, Caroline, it's time."

I glanced up at him with unfocused eyes, and gave him a questioning look. He sighed, and gently lifted me up by the arms. I couldn't respond, my arms refused to move. He placed a gentle hand on my cheek, and watched me with those incredible eyes. I couldn't feel his touch.

"I'm so sorry that she's gone. Let me take care of this, and we'll go lie down, okay?" Bucky said, releasing me, and moving towards Ari's body.

I sat quietly, watching him as lifted her, and placed her gently into the ground. Bucky started to push the clay over her, and I dropped to my knees, shoving a pile of clay into the hole. He jumped, and looked up at me. I half smiled at him, before covering Ari's face with the orange soil. He let out a long sigh, but continued to help me. We covered her completely, and stood. It was done, and I finally took a breath. Bucky stared at the wall, and turned back towards me.

"What was her whole name? We should write it on the wall." Bucky said, solemnly.

I muttered, "Arianna Carlisle."

Bucky nodded softly, and moved for the wall. He pressed his metal finger to the rock, and sighed. With a fingertip, he began to carve Ari's name into the stone, along with the month and year. We couldn't have been sure what day it was, seeing as it never got dark there, but he gave it his best guess. Once he finished, he came behind me, to wrap both arms around my waist. We stared at the grave for some time, before I felt a tight pain in my chest release and I could feel again. Bucky glanced over my shoulder, trying to look me in the eye. I slid my hands over his arms, and held onto him. He never let me go, giving me all the time I needed.

Eventually, I turned to look at Bucky, and wrapped my arms around his neck, nuzzling my face to his chest. I let out a soft sob and tears began to flow down my cheeks, covering the blue leather of his jacket. The dam I had unconsciously built had broken, and I cried like a child. He rubbed my back, and picked me up, carrying me to the tunnel.

Bucky placed me on my side, and laid beside me. He wrapped a gentle arm around my stomach, and slipping the other under my head, as a hard pillow, seeing as it was metal. It was comfortable, but it was what I needed from him in that moment. I didn't need him to console me, or try to get me to talk about it. I just needed someone that could lie there, and let me cry. As I rolled up in the fetal position, he ran his hand up and down my spine instinctively. Within moments, I was out, falling asleep to Bucky's deep, calming breaths.


	6. Let's Play Doctor!

A sudden shudder woke me with a start. I searched the dim cave for the source. I was never going to get a good night's sleep in that place. As I looked to Bucky to get his take on the situation, I realized he was shivering violently. Frightened by the sight, I leaned over him, trying to coax him from his dreams. He didn't wake, his eyes moving rapidly behind his eyelids.

I turned towards the others, who were all staring back, confused. As I glanced back to Bucky, he struck the wall, moaned softly, and dropped his hand to his gut. That's when I noticed the blood spreading over his stomach.

"He's bleeding again! I... I think his wound is infected. He's soaked with sweat. Someone help him, please!" I begged.

Everyone took a step towards us, but paused in surprise. I couldn't blame them, he was a super soldier after all. My eyes darted from one person to the next, hoping someone would help. After catching his eye, Sam stepped forward, and took a seat beside me. As gently as he could, he started examining the wound. He sighed, and looked to the others.

"We need to get his jacket off. I think she's right. I don't know how this is happening, but he is definitely sick. So, let's get him undressed, so we can assess the situation." Sam stated calmly, as he addressed everyone.

T'Challa stepped forward, followed by Quill. They carefully sat Bucky up, and slipped his arms out of the jacket. I groaned, closing my eyes. That could not feel good in Bucky's condition. They lowered him back on the clay and Quill used the jacket to prop Bucky's head up. Sam tore open Bucky's shirt, giving him a clear view of the wound. It was bloody, and swollen. Apparently it hadn't healed.

"Does anyone have alcohol or anything liquid I can clean the wound with?" Sam asked.

Everyone shook their heads, looking around. Quill stepped up, and pulled a flask from his jacket. He reluctantly handed it over, a queasy grimace on his mouth. Sam shook it, sighing. It sounded empty. Quill must have been having a harder time than I had expected.

"Before you judge, it was only half full when we got here." Quill retorted, seeing my sideways glance.

"There isn't a lot left, but it may help." Sam assured him.

"Here," he handed Sam a knife from his boot, "you can use that to open the wound." Quill said, glancing at me.  
I pursed my lips, and nodded. "Do it, he's out from the fever."

Peter waved his hand and said, "I don't have a knife or anything like that, but I think I might have something that could cauterize the wound. Just give me a minute to figure it out."

Sam took a heaving breath, and glanced around the cave. "This could get pretty nasty, anyone that can't stand the sight of blood, or other fluids, should leave now."

Without a thought, I knelt over Bucky, and held his head in my lap, tossing the jacket aside. Of course I was staying with him, after everything. Sam took the knife, and placed it over the wound with a shaky hand. He sighed, and glanced at me, hesitantly.

"You really want to be here? I can get T'Challa, or someone else to help me." He asked, trying to make eye contact, leaning down to my level.

"Just do it, we don't have all day. We don't even know what is wrong with him." I replied, rolling my eyes.

Sam nodded, and slipped the blade into Bucky's wound. Bucky shuddered, but his eyes remained closed. It made Sam pause. He snapped his fingers in front of Bucky's face. When he didnt respond, Sam slipped the knife back into the wound, winding it. It started to flow with blood and infection.

"Okay, it's draining, but there's no way I can clean it out by hand, not without making it worse." Sam said frantically.

Wanda approached us, and knelt by my side. "This is going to be disgusting, but I think I can help with that. I can clear the infection using my powers."

I nodded, and said, "Let's get at it, then. We don't have another plan."

Without a moment of hesitation, Wanda placed a glowing palm over Bucky's wound, and slowly lifted it. Within a red stream of energy, a second stream of blood and the milky infection flowed from the wound. Bucky would lose it when we told him that Wanda used her powers inside him. Then he would probably vomit.

I shuddered, and focused my attention on Bucky's face. There was a slight grimace forming on his lips, but he was otherwise calm. I hoped he wasn't faking, because I was sure that Wanda magically cleaning his wound was excruciating.

After a lifetime, Wanda sighed, and the glowing red stream disappeared, leaving the wound to ooze dark, red blood. I took a deep breath, and smiled down at Bucky, whose face was calm again. Finally we had some good news. I glanced at Sam, who held the flask to his ear, shaking it.

He caught my eye, and said, "Wanda cleared the infection, but there's still the chance that it isn't completely out. That being said, I think I'm going to have to open the incision, and get what little alcohol we have deep in there, and kill the shit that's left. Then Peter can come cauterize the wound. Speaking of," he searched the cave, "Parker, you figure out how to seal this wound?"

Peter ran across the cave, and knelt beside Sam. "Hey, yeah. Me and my friend adjusted the heaters in my suit, and now I can use them to heat whatever you have up to the point it will definitely cauterize that wound."

Sam nodded and handed Peter the knife. "Heat that up for me. I have to get the alcohol in the wound, then we close him up. So, do what you gotta do to get that knife ready, okay?" Sam replied, opening the flask. "Um, Caroline. I'll need your help. I'm going to pull the wound open, and I'm gonna need you to pour the alcohol in it. Can you do that for me?"

I looked at Bucky for a moment, and nodded. "Yeah, take a little bit, and cleanse your hands, and I'll pour the rest in when you're ready."

I let go of Bucky, and took the flask from Sam, who held his hands over the incision. I poured a small amount on his hands, and held the rest to my chest, protecting what was left.

"Alright, let's do this." Sam said with a sickened look in his eye.

Carefully he slid two fingers into the wound, and closed one eye, giving me a queasy glance. Nodding, I carefully opened the flask, and brought it to the cut. I took an exaggerated breath, and tipped the opening down into the wound.

Suddenly Bucky began to stir, moaning loudly. Of course the alcohol was the worst part of that whole ordeal. I dropped the empty flask, and placed a hand on either cheek, leaning over him. His eyes burst open as he grabbed my wrists. Wincing, I continued to rub circles on his temples.

"Bucky, I know it's painful, but you have an infection. We need to do this to clean and seal the wound. It's gonna get worse, but we're not going anywhere. I'm not going anywhere. I know you can do this." I reassured Bucky, while leaning close to his face, forcing him to focus on me.

He clenched his teeth against the sting of the alcohol, but nodded back up at me. Holding my gaze, he released my wrists, and slid his hands up my arms. I was amazed by his strength in that moment. Gently, cradling my elbows in his hands, Bucky braced humself for what he knew was coming.

Sam sighed, and called over his shoulder for Peter. He ran over, still messing with his Spidey suit. He dropped before Bucky, and gave him a nervous smile.

"So, uh, the knife is almost white hot, I think this thing is vibranium. Anyway. It's gonna do the job, for the thing we wanna do." Peter stammered.

I glanced at him, astonished. He gave me a stressed look, trying to smile, obviously nervous about his handy work. I rolled my eyes, and gave him a reassuring smile and nod.

"Thank you Peter." I said, turning my attention to Bucky. "Now, Babe, this is it. Once we cauterize the wound, you'll be okay."

He nodded, and looked to Peter. "Give the knife to Sam, he's wanted to inflict physical pain on me since the moment we met. I'm ready." He closed his eyes, and held my arms tighter.

Sam gulped, but took the glowing knife from Peter. He gave us sharp looks, and turned his attention to Bucky's open wound. He was not ready for this, God, I had forgotten to ask what kind of medical training he had.

Sam groaned, "I'm so sorry, old man," and stuck the white hot knife on Bucky's skin. Immediately the smell of burnt flesh filled our noses, and Bucky bit back a cry, whimpering. I pressed my forehead to his, and whispered reassuring words, though I didn't believe a word of it.

After a few seconds, which felt like hours, Sam pulled the heat away. He looked like he was about to pass out. Bucky let out a sigh of relief as he relaxed his hold on me. He opened his eyes, and glanced at everyone. Sam fell back, and rubbed his chin.

"Thank you... that was... awful. How did I get an infection anyway?" Bucky said between deep breaths.

"Well, we're in a rather contaminated environment, wouldn't you say?" I asked, trying to make him smile.

Bucky gave me a tired smirk, as his eyes fluttered shut. He fell fast asleep, his hands sliding from my arms. I carefully moved them to his sides, and watched him rest. He deserved a good night's sleep after the events of the last couple hours.

Sam smiled, and placed a hand on my shoulder. "You should get some rest, while you can. He's gonna need you when he's up. We'll leave you two alone." He grabbed Peter by the collar, and pulled him away.

Slowly, I slipped out from under Bucky's shoulders, and cautiously placed Bucky's head back on his jacket. Crawling to his side, I felt the weight of the day finally sink in. I was exhausted, even though I had just woken up. Yawning, I curled up as close to Bucky as I dared, and took his metal hand in mine, closing my eyes.

"Is she alright? She's been asleep for a really long time?" Bucky whispered.

Quill said, softly, "That woman was at your side the entire time you were getting hacked up. She refused to take a step back. It makes sense she would be exhausted after exerting such energy, physically and emotionally. Sam hasn't gotten up either."

Bucky scoffed softly, and rubbed my hand, which was still grasping his. I sighed slowly, and tightened my grip on it, but my eyes weren't ready to open. I cozied up closer to Bucky, laying my head against his shoulder.

Quill let out a short laugh, and said, "I'll leave you two alone. I think she's faking it... I'm glad you're not dead, buddy."

Quill retreated, making only the slightest sound. Bucky sighed as he laid his head on mine, relaxing against me. He was asleep before I knew it. I smiled a bit, my mind calming as I fell back to sleep, listening to his ever comforting breaths.


	7. Wakey! Wakey!

"Caroline... Caroline? You awake? Come on, Darlin', open those beautiful eyes." Bucky urged.

Groaning, I turned on my side, trying to get more comfortable. Why wouldn't anyone let me wake up on my own. That was my own personal punishment. Though, waking up to Bucky gently kissing me wasn't the worst wake-up call. I sighed in return, enjoying the moment between us.

"Doll, open your eyes." Bucky crooned.

"Ugh... I just wanted to act like we weren't here for a few more seconds..." Suddenly it rushed back. "Shit, Bucky," I jumped up, looking him over, "are you alright? You look much better." I said, glancing at his stomach.

He gave me that heartbreaking smile. "I'm feeling much better, and that's much to do with you. I guess I knew that I wasn't well, but I thought I could sleep it off, I was evidently wrong. And the next thing I know, I'm waking up to a gaping hole in my abdomen, and you holding me. You never left my side once, did you?"

Dropping my eyes, I rubbed my neck, trying to think of what to say. Bucky's smile faltered, but he hesitantly took my hand. I glanced at our intertwined fingers with a certain amount of awe.

"I was here for all the gore and grotesque sobbing, yes." I said, giving him a sarcastic expression.

He shoved me playfully, and groaned, "I try being personal about things, and you..."

"Okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to belittle the situation. Yes, Bucky, I was there. I wasn't going to leave you like that. You never once left me. And you were sick. You know, I care about you. I wouldn't leave..."

He grinned and kissed me, cutting me off. I sighed into kiss, slipping a hand into his hair. God, he had good hair. He pulled me close to him, kissing my forehead, before looking at me.

"Speaking of healing, how's the head and the arm?" He questioned, running his hands through my hair.

I pursed my lips, and admitted, "I actually haven't been thinking about it. Um," I checked the wounds, "There okay. My head is actually pretty much healed. My arm was just a scratch."

"I'm sorry I didn't ask earlier. I'm a really awful suitor, aren't I?" Bucky confessed, grinning mischievously.

I smirked and quipped, "Suitor? I mean, make-out buddy, maybe..."

He chuckled, and professed, "Caroline, I have really enjoyed our time together, however long it has been, and if we get out of here, I hope you will think about being with me. I know your life is all about putting monsters away, and I'm on that list, but I hope that we can work something out."

I gazed at him, thinking over his proposal. Of course I wanted to be with him, but he was right. It was indeed my job once to bring him in. Though, he wasn't the monster he had been painted to be, of that I was sure. The Winter Soldier had been replaced with this gentle, kind, brave, loving man.

"Sure. If we make it out of here, I would really like that." I mumbled, hoping he wouldn't hear me.

Bucky dismissed my shyness, running his metal hand across my cheek. "I hope that we make it out of here. Maybe then we can get some privacy without the risk of getting shot."

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "Of course, that would be a perk. If only everyone out there wasn't completely insane." I teased.

He nodded, and laid his eyes on my lips, "All the same..." He pulled my face to his, pressing his lips gently to mine.

I grabbed his shirt, and pulled him to me. He sighed slowly, and gave me a passionate kiss, parting my lips with his tongue. It made butterflies awaken in my stomach, flitting about like they had been lit on fire from the heat rising within me. He held me in such a way, that I finally felt safe in our world of unknowns. It was like no matter what happened, we had each other, and that was all that counted.

Holding one another, we talked about everything. He told me about his life back in World War II Brooklyn, and I told him all about my simple childhood living in a small town in Colorado. He spoke with such enthusiasm about the 'good old days', I was finding myself wishing I had been there. He was so energetic, it was like he was taking my energy as well.

Slowly, I slumped down to the clay, and cuddled into him. Bucky wrapped me up in his arms, and nuzzled my neck. I sighed softly, as my eyes drooped. He was the only pillow I needed.

Bucky gently kissed my jaw, and murmured, "I am in love with you, Caroline Smith..."

I stiffened, and played dead, terrified.

"Caroline?" Bucky whispered.

He sighed and laid his head back in the nape of my neck. I sat there in silence, unable to say a word. I finally built up my courage. As I opened my mouth, Bucky let out a quiet snore. I huffed, shut my mouth, and shut my eyes. I'd tell him later. God knows we would have many more days like those. Right?


	8. Missing In Action

As I woke, I slowly opened a reluctant eye. The shining sun blazed down on me blinding me. Had I walked outside? Did Bucky actually bring us out when he had just gotten better? Only one problem with my theories, there was no sun in that miserable world. I tore myself off the floor, finally able to observe my surroundings. I was back in my hotel room! Looking myself over, I realised I was wearing the same clothes I had worn in that mystery world. They looked as brand new as the morning I put them on.

I checked my arm, it was healed. I ran my hands across my scalp. Not even a scar was left. It was like nothing had happened. But, how? How did I get out of that orange hell? And...

"Where's Bucky?!" I gasped, searching my room.

Only moments ago, I had been in the arms of the man I loved. And I hadn't even gotten the chance to tell him. Now, I was standing in a bare hotel room, and Bucky was nowhere to be found. How was I back? Why was I back? Where was he?!

Panicked, I searched for my phone. To my surprise it was back in my pocket. I scrolled through my contacts until I found T'Challa's office number. Bucky had been with him before, so with some luck, he would be back with T'Challa. I was falling apart at the seams as I hit send and waited for an answer, chewing my thumb nail ravenously. After the tenth ring, someone finally picked up the phone.

"Hello, this is the office of the Wakandan Relief Services. How may I help you?" A kind female voice answered.

"Hello, my name is Caroline Smith. I'm with the U.N.'s Defense Team. I must speak with King T'Challa as soon as possible, it is a matter of urgency." I inquired, trying to stay calm.

The women sniffed, and said, "The King has gone missing. It has been some time since anyone has heard from him, ma'am. I can't give you any further information."

"I understand. I need to speak to the leader in charge, then. Like I said, it is very important." I huffed.

She let out an annoyed breath, and said, "His sister, Shuri is here. She is head of tech and engineering. If you are in defense, you'll talk to her eventually."

"Yes, thank you!" I exclaimed, yelling into the receiver.

Automatically I was put on hold. A song played quietly, soothing my mind a bit with its gentle but spirited beat. After a few tense moments, the woman came over the phone, panting.

"Ma'am! It is the most extraordinary news. King T'Challa himself has returned! I will give him your name and number, and he will return your call soon..."

"Wait! Please, tell immediately! I was taken too and I'm back in Wakanda. I need him to help me get in contact with a mutual... friend. Please..." I begged the woman.

"Of course. I will give him your information the moment he comes in..."

As I hung up, I looked around the room, just then realizing my things were nowhere to be found. Of course. We had been gone for months or maybe even years. I'd be lucky if it was even still around.

Heading downstairs, I searched for my small travel wallet with my cards and ID, finding it in my back pocket. I sighed, thinking that I couldn't actually be so lucky. Quietly, I approached the desk, and waited my turn. A pair of newlyweds had come to take a tour of Wakanda's wonders, so I waited my turn. They seemed unphased by the attack that had occurred there in the, hopefully, recent past. As they left with a pamphlet on the local hiking trails, I approached the desk.

The man gave me a wide smile, and said, "Hello, ma'am! Do you have a reservation?"

I smiled nervously. while rubbing my neck.

"So, I visited here a while ago. Strange as it may sound, I was taken suddenly, and I left all of my personal belongings here. I was in room twenty. My name is Caroline Smith. Would you happen to have my things in a lost and found or something?"

He rubbed his chin, and looked towards a back room. I followed his gaze, as he stared into the dark room. As he glanced back at me, I gave him a confused smile. He was hiding something, I could feel it. He walked to the back, and came forward with my bags. By the looks of them, they had been ransacked. He coughed, and handed them over to me.

"I'm sorry for the appearance of your bags, ma'am. Many people disappeared suddenly. Literally, people just disappeared into dust. We are very sorry, but much of your valuables were taken. Again, I'm sorry." He said, trying to keep his voice steady.

I sighed, but placed my bags on the ground. "Listen, I understand, it was an insane situation. Who knew what had happened to us. I didn't. I just want to take a rest. So, I need a room. Do you have one available?"

He nodded, and got to the computer. He almost immediately handed me a key, and said, "I gave you the top floor with a view of the beautiful landscape. Sorry again for the loss of your items."

"Thank you. It's all good. I'm grateful for the hospitality. I'll let you know if I need anything else."

With that I grabbed my bags and headed for the stairs. Climbing to the fifth floor, I looked out on the nearby forest, wondering where Bucky was. I couldn't help but sense he was out there. If I appeared where I had left off, generally, maybe he did the same. One could only hope...

Walking into the hotel room, I felt heavy, weighed down with anxiety and fear. Immediately, I dropped my bags, and shuffled to the bed. Kicking my shoes off, I fell onto the mattress, face first. It felt like clouds compared to the uneven stone I'd been sleeping on since April, however long ago that had been. I felt stupid now, not asking. Suddenly, I was fighting to keep my eyes open. Breathing in the gentle scent of detergent, my eyes fluttered shut, leaving me in a dreamless darkness.

The shrill ring of my phone woke me from my deep sleep. Quickly, I reached for it, knocking it off the bedside table. I launched from the bed, picking it up off the floor. The number was encrypted, which I hoped meant it was someone important, someone who could help me.

I answered my cell, mumbling, "This is Caroline Smith."

"Caroline. This is T'Challa, I am glad you are safe. I hear you appeared back here in Wakanda."

"Yes! I did. Um, I'm glad you made it back as well. How are you? Did Bucky return with you?"

"I'm not sure yet, it's very strange. And yes. Bucky has returned, I knew he was why you've been eager to get in contact me."

Breathing a sigh of relief, I sat down on the bed. "He was part of it. I'm just glad we made it back. Is he alright? Did you inform him I'm in Wakanda?"

"Caroline, listen..." He hesitated, sighing, "When he came back, something happened to him. He's physically healthy, his wound is gone and everything. The problem is, his brain received some kind of trauma, my sister is trying to figure it out. Bucky... Bucky has reverted back to the Winter Soldier. We had to sedate him."/

I jumped up off the bed, and started pacing. "Um, I need to be there, even just to observe him. I can't sit here, waiting to hear if he's getting better. Please, let me join you, and help him."

"Alright. I will send a car for you immediately. And Caroline?"

"Yes, T'Challa?" I replied, timidly.

He laughed softly at my tone of voice, "I'm really happy that you're safe."

Smiling, I said, "Yeah, I'm glad you made it back as well."

Hanging up, I tossed the phone on the sheets. Realizing how bad this was, I rubbed my face, and sighed. Of course we couldn't catch a break. Maybe this wasn't meant to be. Maybe I should just do my job, and take him in. Only, I didn't know if I had a job anymore. Where were my other coworkers?!

The sudden realization that none of my coworkers had returned hit me like a ton of bricks. We hadn't died. We had been taken to an alternate dimension, it had to have been, and they had died there. I stood up, and paced the room, looking for something to break. My eyes landed on the bed frame. Kicking the bed, I cried out in pain. God that had hurt. I dropped to the floor, staring out the window. Surveying the streets below, I watched a sleek black car approach, and remembered the mission at hand.


	9. Home, Sweet Home?

I grabbed my phone, and ran downstairs. It was time for answers. As I approached the car, a man came around the front and opened the door for me.

"Ms. Smith, I am here to take you to King T'Challa. Please, get in the car. It's a strange time, we don't want to be seen out here for long."

I quickly climbed in, and he sped off the way he had come. He drove through farmland, and jungle, until we came upon a thick grove of trees. He paused for a moment as he placed his thumb on a scanner, and a blue light lit up on the dash. He suddenly glanced back at me, and took off toward the thick trees. He was going to kill us, I was sure of it. I gasped and covered my face as we were about to crash into the trunk of a tree.

The crash never happened. I opened my eyes and stared, aghast, at the sight before me. There were buildings glittering in the burning sun, with ships rising every which way. I laughed, forgetting myself. It was like nothing I had seen before. The driver drove across the landing pad of the tallest building, skidding to a stop in dead center.

As I opened my door, a line of warriors approached with T'Challa in the middle. I jumped out of the car, and jogged up to him, overly excited to see a familiar face. He immediately pulled me into a gentle hug, and sighed.

Still holding me, he muttered, "It's good to see you. I'm glad you are safe. I didn't know who had returned. Let's get you inside, and we will go see Bucky."

"Thank you. Yes, let's go figure this out." I replied as I followed him inside.

Winding through the most incredible lab, we headed to a secluded floor, toward a large cell with wire laced glass walls. Lying on the floor, in a crumpled mess, rested Bucky.

Bucky looked like he had gone ten rounds with the Hulk. He was dripping with sweat, his hair matted and sticking to his face. There were fresh cuts on his face and arm, some still bleeding. I gaped at him, trying to figure out what had happened.

I turned to face T'Challa, asking, "What the hell is going on? We have been back only a few hours. Did he do this to himself? What did he do when he got back?"

T'Challa sighed, and sat on a bench next to the cell. He placed a hand on the bench, and looked me in the eye. He was obviously worried. He gestured for me to join him. I huffed, and sat by his side, watching Bucky as he slept. It was terrifying seeing him like that.

T'Challa professed, "He woke up in the woods. When others approached him, he attacked them. I found him trying to kill Sam Wilson. I knocked Bucky out, and we brought him here. When he woke up again, he started trying to break the glass. We sedated him about an hour ago, to stop him from harming himself. My sister, Shuri, is going to try to reverse this, like she has before. We are hoping that having you, and hopefully Steve Rogers, here will help.

I nodded, and ran a hand through my hair. "So, what did this? He was fine back in that alternate reality, or whatever the hell that was. What changed?"

T'Challa sighed and looked around trying to gather his thoughts. He took my hand, and gave me a reassuring smile. I couldn't make eye contact with him. With a quick glance at Bucky he shook his head.

"I do not have a clue why this has happened, but I do know, we will not stop until we get him back. Shuri is already hard at work figuring out how to help him, and she will."

I patted his hand, and stood, moving closer to the cell. As my toe touched the glass, a small ping rang out. Bucky was awake immediately, and crouched down, ready to pounce. I stood completely still. Frightened, I watched him wide eyes, as he looked everyone over. Suddenly, he lunged at me.

T'Challa grabbed me by the arms, and pulled me back, trying to protect me. Bucky bellowed every profanity in the book, and hit the glass with his soldier arm, evidently enraged by the very sight of me. I watched in shock as he attempted a dozen times to shatter the glass, growling at me. He only stopped when his arm bounced off, striking him in the chest.

I sighed in relief as he dropped to the ground. His chest was heaving, but his body relaxed enough that I felt comfortable stepping back up to the glass, taking care not to touch it as I knelt down before him. He was like night and day.

He barely glanced at me as I got down to eye level, and watched him intently. I couldn't believe this man was the same man I had been with. The same man that held me so gently. Yes, we had faced some demons, but the Bucky of my dreams had never been some Jekyll and Hyde figure.

As I sighed deeply, Bucky jerked his head in my direction. I gave him a sad look, right before the escalation cycle occurred once more, with him lunging at me with full force. I held completely still as he punched the glass before my face, screaming at the top of his lungs. I couldn't get used to it.

Suddenly, I lost it, yelling back. As he paused in utter shock, I barked, "I'm not giving up on you! I loved you before. This isn't going to change that! Please, fight this. If not for me, then for yourself. You earned a better future than this..."

Before I could continue, he cried out in pain, and fell back. His eyes squeezed shut, and he clenched his teeth, trying to hold back the screams. He seemed to be fighting back. I stood and pounded on the glass.

"Come on, control it!" I yelled over his anguished cries.

After a particularly boisterous yell, he finally went still. His face smoothed over, and his breathing evened out. He had screamed himself to sleep. The silence after his outburst was deafening. I fell to my knees, and took in a ragged breath. Shaking my head, I turned towards T'Challa.

"What is this? I've seen the Winter Soldier tapes. This isn't that. He was cold and calculated, attacking a target with precision. This isn't that. This is just pure, unadulterated rage. Did he say anything when he came to?" I questioned pointedly.

T'Challa sat on the bench, and shook his head."I do not know the answers. Why don't we leave him to rest, and go see what they have figured out. What do you say?"

I glanced at Bucky's calm state, and nodded. T'Challa helped me to my feet, and led me back towards the labs we had come through to get there. As we approached a young woman no more than eighteen, T'Challa made a quiet chirping noise. The woman spun around and grinned at him.

"Oh, Brother. It is still a haunting sight seeing you in my lab after all this time... Is this the white girl you told me about? Of course she is, she looks worse than you did when you brought Bucky in this morning. Please, Ms. Smith, take a seat, and we will discuss Bucky's situation."

I immediately followed orders, and took a seat at a desk beside her, T'Challa sitting on her opposite side. Shuri quickly pulled up a brain scan, and an in depth file on Bucky, far more detailed than the one I had seen from the CIA. Someone was certainly good at their job.

"Bucky has triggered his Winter Soldier persona. I assume he received a trauma when he returned in the forest. Maybe he fell, or had an emotional breakdown, waking up alone like many times before as the soldier. I can't be sure." Shuri proclaimed, matter-of-factly. "I was observing the interactions he just had with you, Ms. Smith, and I think your connection is deep, but the Winter Soldier seems to believe that deep of a connection could only be negative. I understand some horrible things occurred in that world you guys were sent to. He probably associated you with that pain. Anyway, the plan is to show him positive interactions. To show him that we are here to help rather than hurt. Then we do some mental adjustments in this lab, and then we should have him good as new."

Distracted, all I whispered was, "Caroline."

Shuri gave me a sideways glance, asking, "Huh?"

I smiled. "Sorry, call me Caroline. You don't need to call me Ms. Smith. It seems rather formal, considering we are likely going to be working together for some time."

She nodded, and said, "Proper white girl name. Caroline it is. Brother, why don't we start in on this tomorrow? We should make sure she is close if anything happens. There are plenty of rooms here." She smiled at me. "We will call for your bags, and have them taken to your room."

T'Challa sighed, and said, "Just because you were queen while I was gone, does not mean you can boss me around now."

"Oh, Brother. I was bossing you around long before you were king. You expect that to change because you come back from the dead?"

T'Challa rolled his eyes, and simply stated, "Come along, Caroline, I will make sure you get a private room, far away from this little, mad scientist."  
I pursed my lips, holding back a laugh, and followed him back out of the lab. He gestured for one of the four guards by the entrance to follow him. He gave quick orders to gather my things from the hotel, and the man disappeared.

"Thank you."

T'Challa nodded.

As we approached a long hall with doors every thirty feet or so, T'Challa proclaimed, "You can have any room. There is a key in each door, so you can lock up, and we will know which is occupied. Please, get some rest. I believe we all will need some, before our work begins."

I gave him a quick hug, and said, "Thank you, for everything. I don't know what I would do without your family's help. It may have been a fleeting moment in that other world, but I don't think I can lose Bucky now. Anyway, I will see you first thing tomorrow."

T'Challa smiled gently, and said, "You are most welcome. Now. Sleep well. I will see you in the morning."

He walked back towards the labs, moving quickly. I watched him until he disappeared around a corner. Tapping my foot nervously, I turned to face the long hall. Carefully, I chose my room. Two rooms were already occupied, so I avoided them, and continued down the hall to an empty one all the way at the end.

Walking in, I pulled the key from the door, and let it close behind me, with a soft click. I approached the large, silk sheet bed, and dropped onto the covers. I hadn't realized how exhausted I was. Before I could remove my shoes, I blacked out.


	10. Back To The Beginning

Opening my eyes, I gasped. All around me flowed orange mist. I clapped my hand over my face, trying to hide from the nightmare all around me. Sudden, piercing screams wrung in my ears, making me crumble to the ground, terrified. They sounded strangely familiar. While I tried to focus on the voice, it stopped. The cry still echoing in my ears, I took a deep, calming breath. I risked a peek through my fingers, afraid of what I might see. The mist recessed, and revealed Bucky tied down. He was fighting his restraints, terror in his eyes.

I crawled toward him, and attempted to free him. As I released his arms, he turned on me, and wrapped his fingers around my throat. I sputtered, trying to take a breath, but no air came. I was petrified as I stared into his cold, dead eyes.

He tossed me to the ground, and climbed over me. Without a thought, I stopped fighting, and wrapped his hand in mine, blinking away tears. I mouthed, 'I love you. I'm sorry.' As he glared down at me, the light faded around his enraged face.

I sat bolt upright in bed, holding my throat, taking a deep, raspy breath. What the hell had that been? Why would I ever let him kill me? Not only did I want to live, but I knew the pain it would cause him! I was losing it. Bucky meant a lot more to me than I had thought, but would I really sacrifice myself for him?

Though it was still quite early, I realized that I wasn't going to fall back to sleep, and climbed out of bed. This day was already starting off bad. Searching the room for a light switch, I walked into an attached bathroom. As I turned on the lights, I caught sight of myself in a large mirror. The wild reflection was someone I hardly recognized.

I approached the sink, and splashed water on my face. I did my best to fix the stray hairs that had begun to fly out in every direction from my curly hair. Once my face was clean, and my hair managed, I made my way back into my room.

I realized as I crossed back into the room, my luggage had been left at the end of my bed. It was kind of a strange thought, someone entering the room while I was asleep. Nonetheless, I started rummaging through my things for something a bit my comfortable than my suit.

Once dressed in a sundress, I slipped out of my room, trying to find my way back down to Bucky's cell. Slowly, I made my way through the awe inspiring building, eventually finding the lab.

Walking around a painted pillar running down the middle of the room, I heard hushed voices. I paused mid stride, listening in on the conversation. It was none of my business, at least, not until someone mentioned me by name.

"Caroline Smith was very close to Bucky in our prison world. You weren't there, Steve, they were very attached to one another. She can help us get through to Bucky." T'Challa protested.

A second man responded, most likely this Steve character, insisting, "I'm sure they were very close. But based upon what you told me, he gets angrier when she's around. It's not going to be helpful, her causing him to regress every time she's in the room, we can't let her go in there."

T'Challa scoffed. "Twice does not a pattern make, we think that he can tell they are deeply connected, but can't tell if she's a part of the good memories, or the bad. We need her to establish a positive narrative."

Steve grumbled, "Fine, but if he continues like this much longer, we should really consider putting him back under, until Shuri can figure out how to put him back together again."

Without a thought, I burst out from behind the pillar, shouting , "No..." I took in the fact that it was Steve Rogers and cleared my throat, adding more gently, "He needs all of the support that he can get. Even if he tries to break our necks. He isn't a science project, to be worked on when convenient."

Steve Rogers gave me a long look, before standing, and approaching me. He put his hand out, saying, "Nice to meet you, ma'am. I'm Steve Rogers. You must be Caroline Smith. T'Challa has told me all about you. I understand you and Bucky met in that alternate universe. Is that right?"

I nodded, and glanced at T'Challa, saying, "We found each other before anyone else. We had no idea it had been so long there, but we were with each other from the very beginning. I know that doesn't mean I have a say about what happens to him, but I do know what happened to him as the Winter Soldier. I was brought in to find him, before he disappeared in Romania, so I know more than he would like me to. All the same, I know he wouldn't want to sit as the soldier, frozen away for who knows how long, until he can be fixed. It may be for my own selfish reasons, but I don't want him to lose anymore time."

Steve gave me a surprised smile, and admitted, "Well, I guess you've really thought this through. I don't want him to lose time either. Especially now that he has someone he's leaving behind. I promise, we will figure this out. I thought he was dead for a year, after just getting him back. It was horrible, and I don't plan on losing him again. I'm sorry, I thought that maybe he was getting angry seeing you because you reminded him of that place. Now, I am with King T'Challa, Bucky just doesn't remember what you mean to him."

I sighed, and said, "Maybe... all the same, we have to get him back. So, what does Shuri have in mind to rid him of the Winter Soldier?"

T'Challa rubbed his neck, staring at me. "She is going to look over her data from the first time she helped him. She thought that she had gotten rid of the trigger, but she doesn't know where it went wrong. She says it may take a few weeks or more to find the flaw. Curing the mind isn't an exact science, in this case. We are going to need to be patient with her."

I groaned, and glanced between the two. "I'm not a patient person, but I will leave her to do her magic. For now, will someone direct me to Bucky's cell?"

Steve raised an eager hand, and said, "I can take you, I was going to visit him myself. It would be nice to have some company."

He started down the hall I had just come from, leading me along with a hand on my back. As we approached the main cell block, the lights came on around the cell, the lights inside remained off. We stopped at the bench, and glanced around the cell, seeing our reflections in the glass.

Suddenly, Bucky appeared a few inches away, a dark grimace on his face. I took a sharp breath, trying to control my emotions. Bucky glanced from me, to Steve, and back.

He struck the glass once with his mechanical arm, and accused, "You're with him, huh? SHIELD's little pawn. What, are you working for them, too? It would make sense. I wouldn't have met you if there wasn't an agenda. Maybe they have lied to me. It wouldn't be the first time."

I rolled my eyes, and retorted, "SHIELD hasn't been a thing in years. I'm with The United Nations. I was once sent to find you, with a team, remember? But you disappeared in D.C., then Germany, and the team was dismantled. So, no, I'm not with him. I only just met him for the first time today. What do you care if I have worked with him before?"

"Well, we all know how he is with the women on his team. He's dating one now, and made out with another before that, and even fell in love with the one before that. Maybe he talked you into messing with my head. Any dame Captain America has his eye on, would do anything for him." Bucky hissed.

I scoffed, and exclaimed, "Wow! You have a rather good memory. Only, you have forgotten the part where we both care deeply for you. It's interesting that you would rather believe that he and I are together. Why, do you believe no one could actually love you?"

Bucky glared at me, growling, "What we had was planted in my head."

I gave him an amused smile. "Right, because using me as an emotional distraction was all part of some master plan..." I sighed, trying to control my emotions. " Listen. I'm real, what we had was real. No one is trying to mess with you. This paranoid psychopath isn't you, Bucky. We are trying to get the real James Buchanan Barnes freed from whatever this is." I gestured him up and down. "Because you aren't him."

Bucky dropped his head, and suddenly hit the glass again, bellowing, "You don't know who I am!"

He started screaming, beating the glass over and over again. Steve let out a long, annoyed breath, and started walking out of the room. I watched him until he was out of view, and turned back towards Bucky. I tried to stay calm, bit I had started to seethe. He continued to rage on, trying repeatedly to shatter the glass. I watched him for a moment, before letting out a scream of my own. I struck the glass once, holding my hand to the cool surface.

Bucky paused, watching me closely. I gave him a tortured glance, and dropped my forehead to the glass. I was on an emotional roller coaster. Suddenly, he did the unexpected, and lowered his head to my level, looking me in the eye. I stared at him, confused. He gave me a sideways gaze, and sighed deeply.

"I think you should leave now. We wouldn't want you to get a cell of your own." Bucky muttered, never breaking eye contact.

I turned my eyes towards the ceiling, shaking my head. "I'm not going anywhere, but I'll let you have a break. I'll be back later."

He grumbled, nodding his head, "Of course you will..." He gave me a blank smile, and turned away. Slowly, he made his way towards a mat against the back wall, and dropped down to the floor, staring at me, amused.

I rolled my eyes, and started towards the hall. I made my way back to the lab, and found Shuri, T'Challa, Steve, and who I was sure was Natasha Romanoff. They all watched me, with sharp stares. The room started to feel smaller and smaller as I leaned on the pillar. I glanced from one to the next, until I locked eyes with T'Challa.

He cleared his throat, and stammered, "Uh, well, that was one way to go about this."

I turned towards a row of computers, and spotted Bucky's cell, and the space around it. They had seen everything. I rolled my eyes, and looked at them all. Steve approached me, smiling uncomfortably.

"It's not easy seeing him like this. I get it, Caroline. This was all unexpected. He is going to need time, so, even though you aren't a particularly patient person, please, take things slow."

I gave him a solemn nod, and confessed, "Yeah, I lost my temper, but a part of the man I love came out, even if just for a moment. All the same, I need to get out for a bit. T'Challa, is there somewhere I can go for a run, or something?"

He rigorously nodded his head, saying, "Of course, you can go anywhere in the kingdom. Take your phone with you, and we will call you if there is a development."

I gave him a quick hug, and took off for an exit.


	11. Uphill Battle

Over the next few weeks, I did my duty, and visited Bucky. I hated every moment, even when he showed compassion. Seeing Bucky that way was like torture. But, if I left him behind, what did that make me? What did that make us?

So, on a day like any other, I went down to the cells. The guards were down the hall, trying to get away from the noise. Bucky was up against the back wall, yelling into his hands. He looked like hell. I approached him, slowly. He hadn't noticed me yet, but I was already affected by the sight of the bloody and bruised man before me. Without warning, I burst into tears. The emotions of the last weeks hitting me like a ton of bricks. As I dropped onto the bench, a loud sniffle rang out under his screams.

It became eerily silent, making my ears ring. I glanced around, surprised. I couldn't stand the screaming, but I enjoyed the silence far less. Glancing around, confused, my eyes suddenly locked onto Bucky. He was at eye level, watching me, concerned.

I sobbed harder. I had seen that expression a hundred times during our months together. He always had that look when he was comforting others, mostly me. Seeing as I'm a mess, I saw it pretty often. It crushed me, that expression in the eyes of this person that I no longer recognized.

Even though I hated that he was showing concern now, I took advantage of it. I dropped to the floor, laying up against his cell. Without prompting, he slid his hand up the glass, and placed his palm flat against it, right in my eye line. He was trying to be sweet. It was unsettling. I glanced at him, he had a sad smile on his lips. I gave his hand a quizzical stare, before pressing my own hand over his.

I looked back up at him, and through tears, said, "Please, fight this. You did it once, with Steve, find the strength to do it again. Please, I need you back."

He nodded, and said, "It's quite a fight in my head, seeing you and the others. I'm trying to find a winner. It's not as easy as flipping a switch, I'm finding." He sighed heavily, staring at our hands.

I sighed in response, and laid back, watching him. It was a strange truce, but I was going to take it while it lasted. He quirked an eyebrow at me, tapping his hand on the tile. I gave him a confused, sideways look. He just laughed, and crossed his legs, tilting his head at me quizzically.

We watched each other intently for some time, when someone approached. Bucky immediately stood and got in a defensive stance. I jumped at his sudden movements, groaning. Steve waltzed into view, sticking his hands in his pockets. Bucky glanced down at me as the rage began to rise up in his chest. He struck the glass with full force, making it rattle against my head, making tears spring in my eyes. I guess the truce was up.

Steve sighed and came to sit across from me on the bench. He glanced down at me, and his eyebrows suddenly knit together. It was like he had never seen a woman cry. He was obviously confused. He sighed deeply, and looked between us.

"Why are you crying so hard? What happened in here?" He asked.

I grimaced at him, and pointed a finger up towards Bucky, to explain the obvious. "Why isn't he getting better?"

Steve sighed, dropping to lean against the bench. I glanced up at him, trying to catch my breath. This was killing me. He shook his head, and rubbed my knee, trying to comfort me. I unconsciously patted his hand, and gave him a small smile.

"Don't touch her! You can't take her from me!" Bucky screamed, pausing his pounding.

Steve jumped up, and stared at Bucky, surprised by the sudden outburst. I stood slowly, putting my hands consciously on my hips. Bucky stared at me with a pained, betrayed look. I shook my head.

"Bucky! I have told you already, there is nothing going on between us. Even if there was, why should we listen to you? You don't even remember our relationship." I barked.

Bucky growled, "Why should that matter, if you actually love me, like you claim, would you move on so easily? And Steve, are you really trying to reset my mind by screwing my girl?" Bucky ranted.

Steve gave me a sideways glance. I shrugged my shoulders, looking at Bucky, completely confused. He rolled his eyes, and walked back to his bed, huffing. He gave each of us an empty glance, and dropped onto the mat, immediately closing his eyes.

I turned to Steve, saying, "Whatever the hell that was. He doesn't love me, but he's jealous? Just perfect..."

I started off down the hallway, making my way back to my room. Steve stayed behind, I assume to try and make a point. As I crossed through the lab, Shuri and Natasha stood in my way. This day couldn't get any worse. I glanced them both up and down, and tried to walk around them. They immediately blocked my path.

Natasha started with, "We were both here when he was recovering the first time. This is definitely different from that. You are making him erratic, borderline insane. We care for him, and we want to see him get better. Maybe that can only happen if you stay away, until we get this figured out."

"Bite me. I'm going to bed." I tried to pass between them, but they closed ranks. I huffed, and crossed my arms, staring at them halfheartedly.

"Don't get all bunched up. We just don't think it helps seeing you, when he has such conflicting feelings. It isn't conducive to his recovery. So, please don't see him until we have things better under control." Shuri countered.

I shook my head, trying to find the words.

Natasha sighed, "I'm sorry, but this is necessary to get him back. We want him to get better, likely less than you, but we don't like to see him suffer either. Will you listen to us?"

I thought it over, groaned, and nodded.

They let me pass, satisfied looks in their eyes. I started back down the hall towards my room. As I slipped my key I the lock, a door slammed behind me. I spun around, and searched the hall. It was Sam. I gasped loudly, and ran towards him. Finally, a friendly face. He laughed, and pulled me into a bear hug. I sighed, finally able to breathe.

He released me, and patted me on the cheek, saying, "Just like that ass, screwing things up with a beautiful woman by going insane."

I scoffed at him, and whacked his arm.

"I didn't know you were here. They said Bucky tried to kill you, but I hadn't seen you. Are you alright? Are you going to go see him?"

"He nodded and gave me another style="box-sizing: border-box;" /"I was having some RR. Ya know, after he tried to strangle me. I'm heading down to see him now. I guess that you've been quite the distraction for the old fool."

"Yeah, so much so that I've been forbidden from seeing him until further notice."

He rolled his eyes, and said, "No wonder. Care, and I mean this with respect, but you look like hell."

"Great! Thanks for that." I retorted, pushing the hair out of my face.

He gently held my shoulder, and looked me in the eye. "Listen, it could be for the best, for now. Maybe we should introduce people he cares about little by little. And work our way up to the love of his life. All the same, you should get some rest, distract yourself for the next few days."

"Yeah, I was just about to drink my sorrows away, and sleep the rest of this shitty day off."

Sam scoffed, "Drink one for me. I'll come by later to make sure you don't drown in your own vomit."

I rolled my eyes, and took a step towards my room. "Nah, I have an iron stomach. You have to when you spend most of your life abroad. Anyway, I will talk with you later."

He groaned, but I was in my room before he could say more. I shut the door, leaning against it. It was time to wash away my sorrows. As I scanned my room, my eyes landed on a bottle of golden alcohol. It looked expensive, but if they wanted us to be at home in our rooms, they intended for us to drink it, right? And, oh, I did not intend to disappoint.

Grabbing the bottle, I dropped to the floor. I quickly uncorked it, and took a long swig. The burning in my throat made me choke. I wasn't much of a drinker of hard liquor, and it was suddenly evident. I rolled my eyes at my weakness, and took another long pull from the bottle making my way onto the bed, plopping down on the soft sheets.

After a few minutes I had finished the bottle, and was laying in my underwear, having abandoned my dress on the floor. Suddenly there was a booming knock at the door. I groaned loudly, trying to buck up enough to gi answer it. Slowly, Ipulled a blanket off the bed, wrapping it around my body as I wobbled my way across the room. I opened it to Steve, holding a cup of coffee. Before I could protest, he handed it to me, and stepped in. He was obviously trying not to look at my indecent appearance. I pulled the blanket tighter around my chest, and sat in an oversized chair in the corner.

Steve sat on the edge of the bed, and said cautiously, "I'm sorry that Shuri and Nat came at you like that earlier. I caught the very end of your discussion. I don't know if they're right. But I want him back as much as you, and we can only hope that this will help."

I took a sip of coffee, thinking of my response. I was acutely aware that I was drunk, and that I didn't want to say anything that would hurt him. He didn't deserve my bitterness rubbing off on him. We had all had a crappy few weeks.

I sighed, and muttered, "Well, it's true, that when he and I are together, parts of the old Bucky come back, but once they're gone, he's ten times worse. I don't know why I'm triggering him like this, but if the experts think that stepping back will help, then I guess we have to try."

Steve nodded. "We can only hope that this will pass in time, like before. Hopefully, this time, it won't take as long to figure it out..." he watched me for a second, his expression dropping to a deep grimace. "Sorry, Caroline. I know this wasn't how you hoped your life with Bucky would be. I hope you can find solace, knowing that they are trying their hardest to save him."

I nodded, giving him a small smile. "Yeah, I'll be fine. I guess it is going to be an adjustment..." he smiled as I watched him intently. "Anyway, it's going to be a long road. I'm tired, and maybe a little drunk. Ya know, maybe we can continue this conversation when I'm more clear headed?"

Steve gave me a sad look, and stood. "Yeah, I will leave you to... rest. Sam said he'd be by later to check in on you... for what it's worth, Caroline, I have heard from T'Challa and Sam the details of your time in that other dimension, and by all accounts, Bucky cared for you very deeply. I know he will remember that, with time."

"Of course he will. After the Winter Soldier tears him to bits, again. Am I still allowed to come watch the progress he's making from the control room?"

Steve nodded quickly. "Of course you are."

I laughed, "Good, I will try to be less volatile when I see Natasha and the others next... Anyway, thank you for the coffee. I will see you later?"

Steve smiled, and stood up, making his way towards the door. As he opened it, he turned back towards me, and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Caroline, you aren't alone here. If you need anything, come to me. Or even Sam and T'Challa, if you are more comfortable with them."

"Sure. Thank you."

He patted me gently on the back, and opened the door. He slowly left the room, watching me. It was so easy to like the guy. I kept eye contact with him, until he turned down the hall towards the lab. Dropping my smile, I slammed the door shut once he was out of view. I covered my head with the blanket, and climbed back into bed. I would try to get help, if that's what I was supposed to need, but not that day. I hummed my favorite song to myself until I faded into an uneasy sleep.


	12. Compromise

Like I had over the past six weeks, I went down to the lab, and watched the monitors for hours, listening to the tortured screams. Occasionally, I would look through other files on the computers, when I needed a distraction. After I couldn't take it any longer, I would retreat back to my bedroom, bottle in hand. Sometimes Sam or Steve would sit with me, talking things out. Even T'Challa or Natasha would come stay with me from time to time.

After all those weeks, I had lost all semblance of my prior self. I had nowhere to go after getting back. My job had been given to another, so I couldn't go back to work. It wouldn't have mattered. Many of us came back... wrong. So it turned out for many of the others that had been put in that alternate dimension, that they couldn't find a job. It was like no one wanted or needed any of us. God, no one needed me. Bucky didn't need me. The other Avenger's certainly didn't need me. I was left to my own devices now, and that included a bottle. How the hell did the loss of my job, or a man, turn me into this? All the same, I spent my time trying to forget.

Like any other day, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep the depression away, when someone knocked on the door. Usually it was Steve that knocked, so he didn't have to find me in my underwear again. I groaned, but decided to answer it anyway, at least wearing a long shirt.

Upon opening the door, I was met with a scoff from Sam, he looked me up and down, and rolled his eyes. He had come to see me, with Steve and Natasha. I glared from one to the next. They all looked either amused or embarrassed. I groaned and walked away from them, sitting back on the edge of the bed. I mentally prepare myself, knowing what they were probably going to say.

"If you came to remind me that I can't go see the person I was hoping to be with for, I don't know, forever, then you can leave. I may be flat out drunk, but I can't make myself forget that." I slurred, watching them all through blurred eyes.

Sam rolled his eyes, and came to sit next to me. "Okay, okay. A drunk Caroline is a dramatic Caroline. We get it, but that's not what we're here to talk about. We want to re-examine something. We all want to save Bucky from his inner... turmoil. But, it's looking like it's going to take some time to figure that out. Shuri hasn't been able to discover what has caused this to happen again. So, we were wondering if you would have any objections to putting him back into cryo until we can figure this out? We just can't keep watching him hurt himself for much longer."

I glanced at the others, trying to gage their feelings about the proposal. They were all watching me with tired, sad eyes. I was way too drunk for this. I rubbed my now throbbing temples, trying to think it through. Of course, he didn't deserve to hurt, just because I didn't want to live without him. But, on the other hand, I was basically living without him. That man in the cell downstairs, he was not my Bucky. He wasn't the man I had spent a year in a cave with. The man I had grown to admire and trust. He was definitely not the man I loved. He was a destructive machine.

I looked in Sam's eyes with tears running down my cheeks. "It seems to be the most logical step here. He's hurting himself, and we're hurting him. Actually, I'm mostly the one hurting him. But, if this keeps him from getting worse, then I guess there is no other choice, right?"

Steve and Natasha sat on the floor in front of me, and Steve affirmed, "Then we all agree? It's going to make it better, he doesn't have to live through more pain. He doesn't deserve that. Let's hope he doesn't lose much time."

I nodded, and sat back on my hands. I tried to think about anything but what we were discussing at the moment. The others continued on about what it would mean to put Bucky under again, and I didn't want to take part. Instead, I counted how many tiles were on the ceiling.

After more than an hour of discussion, I stood slowly, and grabbed a drink from the bedside table. I took a large gulp, the fire no longer affecting me. The others stopped talking, and watched me closely. It was obviously not their favorite form of distraction. I gave each of them a sharp look, before taking a longer swig.

Sam groaned,"This shit is going to stop, now." He grabbed the glass from my hands, and tossed it to the ground with a shatter.

"Hey! I live here!" I exclaimed, waving my arms around the room.

"Yeah, and if you keep this up, that won't be much longer!" Sam snapped.

"Yeah, yeah. I know what your saying. 'Drinking myself to death isn't the answer.' But, guess what? My entire life has been flipped upside down. I can't go back to my job, I can't help my friend, and everyone I knew before this is either dead, or has replaced me. So, screw you."

Natasha scoffed, "Oh, is that so? And what about everyone you've met here?"

I glared at her, but I knew I was just feeling sorry for myself. She certainly didn't have time for such things. Steve placed a heavy hand on Natasha's arm and stood. He stepped towards me and rubbed his neck, obviously calculated his next step. I patted him on the shoulder, and made eye contact with him.

"She's right. You don't need to try to make me feel better. I've been acting like a freaking child. A child that drinks like a sailor... um. Will you give me a few days to dry out, and say goodbye to Bucky, before we put him back under?"

Steve held my shoulders. "Yeah, he's not going anywhere. Shuri needs a few days to get the cryo chamber calculated for Bucky anyway... This is the best thing for him. We have to be strong."

I nodded, and patted his wrist, before turning back to Sam. "I'm gonna go shower, and you are going to pick up every shard of glass off my floor."

Sam raised his hands up, confessing, "I was just giving you the push you needed."

I rolled my eyes, and walked towards the bathroom. "Yeah, yeah, thanks. Now clean that up, while I clean this up." I said, gesturing to all of me.

"Yeah, you should, because you stink." Sam called as I shut the door behind me.

Once I was alone, I took a sharp breath. This was going to be a hell of a week, but maybe I needed to find a way to feel something again. I pulled the shirt over my head, the same shirt I had been wearing for three days, and climbed in the shower. As I turned the water on, it hit me with a hard stream of cold water, making me gasp, instantly clearing my head.

The next day I took a long run around the capital, sweating out the alcohol from the night before. I had drank so much, I was surprised I was upright so soon. I ran until my body couldn't take it any longer, stopping in an unfamiliar part of the kingdom. I started to wander between buildings, and about thirty minutes later, I found the lab. It was a good break from my reality. As I walked inside, I ran right into Steve.

"Have you already been out for a run this morning?" He queried.

"Yeah, I've been up for a few hours now. But, if you're looking for someone to run with, I could use the continued distraction."

He grinned, and started out the door, gesturing for me to follow. I did as I was commanded, and started after him. As soon as he was in the open, he started at an easy pace. I matched it, and we continued side by side. It was so bad. Glancing at me, Steve started to speed up, almost doubling the speed. I stayed with him, but could feel myself weakening. I stuck with him for a few more minutes, until the sharp pain in my side stopped me in my tracks. Doubling over, I tried to catch my breath. He was trying to kill me! Steve chuckled, watching me over his shoulder. Circling back around, he came up beside me, and patted me on the back.

"You okay there, doll?" He asked, clearly amused.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, but I am definitely out of shape. It also doesn't help that you're a super soldier, and I'm just a weak human."

"No, not weak, just off right now. Why don't we head back, Shuri is going to start Bucky's evaluations, and physical exams, so she can prepare the chamber."

"Sounds good. Do you think, maybe we can walk, because I would like to make it back alive." I panted, still trying to even out my breaths.

Steve laughed, and slapped me on the back, before running back the way we had come. I groaned, and began to follow, eventually catching up. He was not going to make it easy on me. We ran as fast as I could back to the labs, Steve laughing at my obvious annoyance.

As I got to the lab later that morning, I immediately heard the loud cries over the monitor. Nothing had changed in all those weeks. This wasn't how this should have gone. Then again, I didn't know anything about brainwashing, to know what should happen when trying to reverse it. While watching the monitors, Shuri approached me, and watched alongside me. I glanced at her, and she was tearing up. I had no idea she had an emotional connection to Bucky. I watched her from the corner of my eye, as she wiped the tear from her eye.

She suddenly said, "He was living such a good life before Thanos came. He was happy, and free. He had it all under control. I hope that we can figure out how to give him that once more."

I patted her on the back, and muttered, "I hope so, too. He deserves more than this."

Shuri agreed, and started towards the cells. I sat against the desk before me, trying to gather the courage to go down to see him. He was still Bucky, but I was petrified to see him. I sat there for more than an hour, plenty of others passing by, visiting him. I, however, was too much of a coward to join any of them. So, after listening to Bucky scream for hours, I eventually retreated back to my room.


	13. Word Gets Around

As we sat against the stone wall, Bucky turned to me, grinning. He leaned over, and kissed me softly, sighing. It was like we had never left. When he pulled away, he ran a hand through my hair, twisting the ends around his finger, grinning wildly. I gazed at him, trying to memorize his handsome face.

"Caroline, I miss this. Where have you been? Where have I been?" He questioned.

I sighed, moving closer to him. "I don't know what happened to you. You... changed."

Bucky's features darkened, as he growled, "He's back, isn't he? The Winter Soldier, I mean."

I nodded, avoiding eye contact. He didn't need to know the details. He wrapped his arms around me, and pulled me to his chest. I held him like life depended on it, it was all I could do to stay with him. He chuckled softly, and kissed my hair.

"I thought I was finally free of him. He was gone, and I was able to live my life. I am never going to be rid of the monster."

I pulled away, and gazed into his broken eyes, shaking my head. He couldn't possibly believe that he was alone in this. If I wasn't alone, then neither was he.

"Don't be afraid. We are going to stop him. Shuri got rid of him once, I'm sure she can do it again, and you will never have to worry about him coming back again. We are doing everything g we can. I will do whatever I can, I promise."

He gave me a sharp look, before saying, "But you haven't done everything you can, have you?"

I woke with a start, my eyes opening to a dark room. As I looked around, I realized it was still pitch black outside. Without a word, I got dressed, and started towards the cells. It wasn't the first time I woke in the middle of the night. Reaching the lab, I paused at the monitors. I was startled by the sight of a man I had never met standing outside Bucky's cell.

I watched for a minute, and listened to the conversation they were having. Suddenly the man told Bucky it was time for him to come back to HYDRA. I yelped, and started back towards the living quarters.

I ran to Steve's room, and pounded on the door. He answered immediately, still fully clothed. I did not have time to get into that. I grabbed his arm, and led him towards the lab. He followed without hesitation.

"Someone is with Bucky! They are saying they want to take him back to HYDRA!" I panted.

Steve growled, and ran ahead. Outpacing me, he disappeared around a corner. As I approached the lab, I glanced at the monitors. Steve had already begun to engage the man, punching him in the jaw. The real problem was that Bucky's cell was open.

I ran down to the cells, ready for a fight. Reaching the cells I heard Steve yelling out, and the other man was laughing. I paused, trying to register what was going on. Bucky was choking out Steve, and the man held a long knife, that he had already taken to Steve's gut, slashing it open.

I ran towards the man, and knocked him to the ground. He tried to recover, but I struck him hard in the groin with my knee. I regretted nothing. He curled into the fetal position, and rolled away from me. I grabbed the knife from the floor, and turned to attack the man, but he was up, and struck me across the face. I lost hold of the weapon, and fell flat on my stomach, dazed.

Before I could respond, the man had me pinned, one hand on each wrist. I fought back, but he didn't budge. He laughed, amused, and slid both of my wrists together. Clutching them in one hand, he grabbed the knife. I couldn't go out like that. I cried out, and tried to kick him, barely touching his back. He pinned my legs, fully restraining me. With the knife in his hand, he ran the flat side against my cheek.

"Now, what is a young lady like you doing here? Maybe you are looking to make a name for yourself, fighting HYDRA. Or maybe you're just stupid." He took the knife, and cut behind my ear. "All the same, wouldn't want to scar up that pretty face of yours."

I cried out as he continued up into my hairline. I tried to move away from the blade, but it only made it. It felt like he was trying to scalp me. Trying to stop the pain, I gave in, and stayed as still as possible. I continued to sob as the man pulled the blade away from my skin, chuckling. He dropped the knife and ran his fingers along the cut.

As he lifted his hand from my wound, he groaned. He smelled the blood, before wrapping his hands around my throat. He was going to kill me, and I was powerless to stop it. I tried to get free, but nothing important was within reach. As I started seeing spots, there was a distant clatter.

From the corner of my eye, I saw sudden movement coming towards us. They struck the man hard, and he cried out in pain, falling off me with a loud thud. I was free from the mans grasp. I rolled away, and held my ear, gasping for air. That was going to leave a mark. As I focused on my savior, I recoiled, realizing it was Bucky.

He jumped onto the man, and pinned him to the ground, choking him with both hands around his neck. Bucky's eyes were ablaze, his face contorted into a sharp smirk. The man tried to fight him off, even stabbing him once in desperation, but Bucky never relented. After the man had gone still, Bucky lifted his head, and broke his neck. He fell off of him, tryi g to catch his breath. I gasped, and scooted away from him.

He turned on me then, pinning me to the tiles. Grabbing my arms, he held them to my sides. His eyes glazed over as he stared down at me. He rose his hand to my neck, but paused before applying pressure. We stared into each others eyes, before he let out a deep breath. He gently released my wrists, but still knelt over me. A moment passed and a look of sudden realization crossed his face.

"Caroline? Caroline... It is you." He registered, as he placed a gentle hand on my cheek, but pulled it away almost immediately, covered in blood.

Suddenly his eyes went wide, as a needle entered the side of his neck. He dropped, draping over me, letting out a deep breath beforegoing still. I glanced around his head, locking eyes with Steve. He pulled Bucky off of me, and lowered him onto the tile. I sighed, and placed my hand back over my wound, sitting upright. I was glad to be alive, but it didnt overshadow my confusion. Bucky had just saved me.

Staring at Bucky, I attempted to stand. Before I could get up on my own two feet, Steve had a handkerchief to the cut. I closed my eyes, rubbing my bruised neck. I should not have been alive.

Soon enough, footsteps approached, and I opened my eyes to the sight of half the compound. Sam, Natasha, Shuri, and T'Challa had all paused mere feet from us. They were dumbfounded by the scene layed out them. I glanced around, my sight blurring a bit, but I finally found Bucky again.

I grabbed Steve's hand, and looked him in the eyes. "He saved me. He recognized me. Not just as the woman that visited from time to time, but me. Caroline." I admitted.

Steve nodded, stating, "I know, I heard what he said. Still, I thought since he had helped that man to hurt me, before saving you, that it was best to sedate him. It's just until we know how much of Bucky's personality has in fact returned."

I nodded in agreement. Taking the handkerchief from Steve's hand, I tried to stand on my own. The room spun, and I teetered slightly. He steadied me, holding me up with one arm. That man could have carried me over one shoulder if he felt it necessary. I patted him on the arm, and started towards the others. They all watched me closely, still on shock. I sighed deeply.

"Can we get to a doctor, because Steve and I will both need stitches." I stated, standing before the group.

Everyone looked between us, and sprung into action. Sam grabbed me, and led me up to the lab, and into a hospital wing I had not been in before. Behind me, Steve walked in, with Nat holding him up. He obviously didn't need it, but the wound across his abdomen had produced a concerning amount of blood.

Once we were both on gurneys, Shuri and Natasha had gotten doctors and nurses to assist us, while the men went to get Bucky patched up, and back in his cell. It was a long night. Apparently, between the HYDRA agent breaking in, and Steve and I getting hacked up, the sun had risen, streaming into the hospital wing.

Before long, the others had come with breakfast, and we ate in a huddled group. I hadn't done anything like that in some time. I'd missed it, the normalcy of a meal among friends. If we had been with everyone, it would have been perfect, but in fact there was one missing. Once I was released, I found my way back to him.

As I approached Bucky, I observed him as he paced the length of his cell. He was nervous... and maybe concerned. He caught sight of me, and stopped, approaching the glass before me. He put up a hand, a deep crease formed between his eyebrows.

"Caroline, oh god. Are you alright? I saw the blood," he pointed to the red pools on the tiles, "and I thought the worst. How bad is it?"

I stared him down for a moment, trying to read him. I realized he wasn't defensive, or harsh like he had been over the past months. I let out a relieved sigh, and turned, showing him the staples up the back of my head. As I turned back to face him, Bucky looked angry, his tired eyes blazing again. I put my hand to the glass over his.

"No, please, don't slip back in, please." I begged.

Bucky shook his head, his expression immediately dropped to a sad, shocked frown. "No, no, Caroline. I'm not going anywhere. I don't know why the Winter Soldier came back, but it's because of him, me, that you got hurt. I'm mad at myself. I know that you have all been talking about putting me back under. I think it's the best plan. I'm so sorry that I've been hurting you over the past two months. How are you now?"

I sighed, and dropped my forehead to the glass. "I'm in a bit of pain, but I'm much better than I have been in some time."

Bucky leaned on the glass, and sighed. I glanced up at him. He was watching me with that old familiar smile on his lips. I had missed that little smirk. I let out a small scoff, and watched him intently.

From behind me, muffled voices drew closer. Bucky and I both pulled away from the glass, as Steve and Sam approached. We acted like nothing was happening, glancing around the room. They looked from Bucky, to me, and back again. Grins spread across both of their faces, and Sam nodded his head in approval.

"You didn't need to stop whatever that was on our account." Sam mumbled, leaning against the wall.

Steve advanced forward, and paused by my side. He glanced at me, before turning his full attention on Bucky, who was looking a little concerned. He was evidently worried what Steve would say. Steve rubbed his neck, before nodding his head.

Steve simply stated, "I'm glad your back with us, my friend. But, what are we going to do about the Winter Soldier?"

Bucky said, without hesitation, "Put me back under, until Shuri can fix me."

My jaw fell open in surprise. I had just gotten him back, and he was already talking about going away again? I couldn't believe it. Sure, we had talked about it when he was out of control, but now? I sat down on the bench, as Steve, Sam, and Bucky discussed it further. It apparently had to happen, they had all decided.


	14. Life Without You

Standing on the edge of the group saying goodbye to Bucky, I watched their final interactions. Bucky was so gentle. It was almost unsettling after all this time. Everyone was at ease, ruffling his hair, or hugging him wholeheartedly. I was surprised they could forgive so easily, but I was also impressed.

Bucky was holding Shuri, as he glanced at me, meeting my eye, smiling weakly. As soon as her let go, Bucky sauntered up to me. I dropped my eyes, trying to keep control of my emotions. I didn't think I could say goodbye. Once he was close enough, he placed a finger under my chin, and gently lifted it, so our eyes met.

From my peripheral vision, I could see the others step away, distracting themselves, giving us some privacy. Once I was sure we weren't being watched, I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him roughly into a kiss. It had been so long since we had done that. I had missed him.

He held me close, his metal arm forming an unbreakable cuff around my waist. Coming up for air, Bucky sputtered, breathlessly, "I'm sorry I didn't say this before, but I love you. I love you so much. I'm sorry I'm leaving you..."

"...You did. You did tell me you loved me. You thought I was asleep." I confessed, grinning shamelessly.

"Our entire relationship is a lie," he sobbed, grinning at me, "kidding. It's fine, you weren't ready yet, I get it. All the same, I am ready to say it, again. I love, Caroline. I'm in love with you."

I grinned and kissed him, before gazing up at him. Good because, I..."

Suddenly Shuri declared, "I know that you two are having a moment, but I have calibrated the chamber, and if we don't get you in it very soon, it's going to take another two days to calibrate it again."

Bucky nodded her direction, but gave me another kiss. It was a proper goodbye kiss, and I didn't want to let him go. Too soon, he pulled away, grabbed my hand, walking towards the chamber. Everyone else gathered round. Bucky turned towards them, and said final goodbyes, before climbing into the clear tube. He didn't let go of my hand yet.

Shuri, clicked a couple buttons on the control panel, and the door slowly began to shut. When it got a few inches away from our hands, I let go, and pulled my hand back. The door shut, and sealed. As it did, Bucky, who was watching me intently, closed his eyes, and slumped his head back. The glass slowly frosted over, and Bucky was asleep.

The others walked away, other than Steve, who came up alongside me. I gave him a sideways glance, but didn't dare speak. He didn't say a word either, just kept his eyes on the glass. I was sure we were both thinking the same thing. What had we just done?

-Eight Months Later-

"Caroline..." Bucky crooned, holding me on his lap.

I grinned up at him, sliding my hand up his neck, taking his cheek in my palm. As I rubbed a small circle across his cheek with my thumb, he turned his eyes down to watch me intently.

"I love you, Caroline. But, why would you let me sleep again?"

I shook my head, holding his face in my hands. "Bucky, I..."

Suddenly there was a loud screeching noise, and I opened my eyes. Taking in my surroundings, I groaned. The alarm was blaring, and I was once more alone in my apartment.

Turning off the alarm, I sat up and stretched. Just a dream, it was always just a dream. This was not the first one, and it was unlikely to be the last. When would this end? When would I get him back, or move on?

Contemplating the answer to my own queries, I made my way to the bathroom, getting ready for work. It had been months since Bucky had gone under, and I had decided not to stick around. It was worse in ways knowing that he wasn't awake, than watching him fight back as the Winter Soldier.

Sitting at the table, drinking a cup of coffee, I got an uneasy feeling, glancing around the apartment. Suddenly, a sharp rasp on the door made me jump. As I approached the door, there was a second, softer knock.

"Caroline, I know you're here. It's Steve Rogers. Please, answer the door."

I closed the small distance, and yanked the door open. Steve smiled softly down at me, but I barely saw the expression, because I pulled him into a hug. I had truly missed him. He patted my back, attempting to comfort me for some reason. I could sense his hesitation.

I pulled away, and glanced up at him. He refused to make eye contact, and leaned on the doorway. Crossing my arms over my chest, I stared him down. Whatever was going on, he was not going to give it up easily. He glanced towards me, but dropped his eyes again, seeing my desperate stare.

Rolling my eyes, I asked, "What happened to him? Where is Bucky?"

Steve shot his eyes up towards me, and gave me a knowing look. I made a gesture towards the table, and sat there, waiting for him to join me. He shut the door, and took the seat beside me, sighing slowly. Resting his elbows on the table, he put his head in his hands.

"Steve, just say it. What has happened? Just tell me. Please."

He nodded, and muttered, "About a month ago, Shuri figured out where she went wrong. She didnt get rid of the Winter Soldier, She had really only built a dam between it and the rest of Bucky. That is why it came back, the dam broke.'

'With that information on hand, she stepped up her game and dug deeper into his mind, finding the key. But, when she destroyed the Winter Soldier, it must have done something else as well. He has no real brain function left. I am here because Shuri wants to try one last thing. If it works, he will likely be fine. If it doesn't, he will die. We want you to come, so you can be there for him, however this goes. Will you come back, for Bucky?"

I ran my hands through my hair, trying to think. This could not be happening. Why couldn't anything just go smoothly for once? Then again, when have things ever just gone smoothly for the Avenger's? I shook my head, and turned to face Steve.

"I'll come, but if he doesn't recover, if he dies, you have to make me forget him. I can't spend the rest of my life knowing what I lost. I know Shuri can do it. I saw her data on the subject while I was watching Bucky from the sidelines. She should really have better security." I demanded, sipping g my coffee

He bit his lip, and nodded in agreement.

"When do we leave?" I murmured.


	15. There Is No! Future There Is No Past!

The quinjet sped back toward Wakanda. Sam and Steve were both on board, but neither spoke to me. Steve had informed Sam of my stipulations for coming, and he gave me the cold shoulder.

As we landed, they both walked off the jet, without a look in my direction. I rolled my eyes, but joined them. They could be as angry as they wanted, but it was my decision. A whole ensemble of people were waiting for us. T'Challa, Shuri, Natasha, and even Nick Fury and Maria Hill were there. I let out a long sigh as they all gathered in a chorus of greetings.

Once everyone was all caught up, the mood dropped, everyone falling silent. I followed Shuri and Natasha towards the labs. They gave me nervous looks, before they led me into the medical wing. Behind those doors lay the man of my heart and soul. Only he didn't look like himself. There were tubes and wires coming from every direction, even into his skull. Bucky, himself, looked like he had lost fifty pounds, and his hair was matted around his face. This couldn't have been the same man.

Natasha patted me on the back, and pushed me forward. I groaned, but moved to sit at his bedside. Taking Bucky's hand, I dropped my head, focusing on his heartbeat over the monitor. My dreams had been about this man, but now that I was here, it was all off. Then again, he was basically dead. How could it compare? Looking him over, only one thought came to mind. What the hell?

I turned towards Shuri, accusingly asking, "How did this happen? Why didn't anyone tell me about him sooner?"

Shuri shook her head, tears pooling in her eyes. "I had found a way to destroy the Winter Soldier. When I went to implement the destruction sequence, the program fought back, destroying Bucky as well. When it did, Bucky went brain dead. We weren't sure how to inform everyone. It was suggested bringing in those who would take it best first, to support the rest. Now that I say it, I'm not sure we made the best call."

I rolled my eyes, but knew at this point it didn't matter. "I get it, I guess. Now that we're all here, how are you going to try and bring him back? What is this grand, master plan?"

Shuri rubbed her neck, and muttered, "Well, it's like what was done with Vision, really. Well, sort of. We take Bucky's personality, a replica from all of my data, and implant it back in his brain. We give him all of his memories, and mannerisms, and basically build Bucky from scratch. I know how mad this sounds. But, we're putting him back together, just in a roundabout way. It will work. He'll be back to himself soon enough."

I gawked at her, trying to process her words as best I could in my shocked state. "So, you think you can put his full consciousness back in his head, without side effects?"

She smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I do. With how strong he is, I think his mind will absorb Bucky 2.0, and roll with it. As long as everything is implanted, and done so very carefully, then there should be no problems."

"But won't he realize he was synthesized? I mean, Vision knew. Why wouldn't replacement Bucky?" I inquired slowly, trying to put my own jumbled thoughts into words.

"Caroline, I think that the Bucky sequence will have no idea. Vision was designed to know what he was built for, putting ideas in his head was what Stark and Banner had in mind. That is not going to be the objective here. We are going to turn Bucky back into a real boy." She went on, as I sat, dumbstruck by the logistics of her plan.

I scoffed, and turned my attention back to the man before me. He was obviously different. He was still tall, with those chiseled features, but he was pale, without life. The Bucky I had known for that short time was never in one place for long, always looking to do something. I wanted him back, or at least a version of him that had a functioning mind.

I glanced up at Shuri, and gave her a small smile. "When do we start?"

She rolled her eyes, stating, "We already have."

As if I had never left, the others threw me back into life in the kingdom. Sam and Steve made me train with them, to build up my endurance. I presumed it was their sense of recruitment. Which I was probably failing, but it kept my mind on less torturous thoughts.

Everyday, Shuri put small parts of Bucky back together, implanting them into his mending brain. Every thought, every memory, she put into his head created more brain activity. I couldn't believe what I was watching. She was reviving dead brain cells right before our eyes!

Within a couple weeks, she and her team had implanted everything from before Thanos. We had all decided that included the good, the bad, and the ugly. Now, they were trying to piece together the last year and a half. It was strangely difficult to form a good timeline from their data and our memories. I couldn't imagine why!

It was almost tedious waiting for them to complete the tasks at hand. It was killing me to see if she was capable of creating the memories like they were, and more than just a cheap imitation. Still, I couldn't help but worry that this new Bucky would forget all about me when compared to everything else in his life. Shuri had promised me that she had created his memories to the exact detail, but I had my doubts.

As the big day approached, the day the last memory and the final section of brain function was activated, everyone had come out of the woodwork. Even Wanda had visited from her self imposed solitude. We sat in a group around the monitors, all focused on Bucky.

Shuri had eventually joined the squad, and stood before us. "We will now implant his last memory from before being put under. Once we have done so, I will revive his remaining dead brain tissue, which should wake him immediately." She explained.

All I could think about was the moment he and I were able to hold one another again. I had tried to live a life without him in it, but I hadn't been able to find my place when I knew that a large part of my life was missing. And here we were, minutes away from never having to be apart again.

Over an intercom, Shuri, who had apparently left us, continued, "Alright, we will now implant the memory. Once it has uploaded, in a manner of speaking, we will activate the neurons. Please be prepared for anything."

She appeared on the monitors before us, carrying a syringe, full of what could only be described as lightning in a bottle, and large electrodes. She applied them gently to Bucky's temples, and slipped the syringe into the back of Bucky's ear, into the tube in his head.

As we watched intently, she turned on the electrodes, and Bucky's body twitched. Only a moment passed before he went still again. As soon as he was still, Shuri took a deep breath, and squeezed the syringe into Bucky's brain. On a single screen, we watched as the neurons shot their way to Bucky's inactive brain tissue. They immediately revived the tissue, sending connections to other parts of the brain.

Suddenly Bucky sat upright, screaming. Shuri took a single step back. He didn't look around, but uttered a single word, a name. Caroline. As suddenly as he had sat up, he fell back onto the bed, unconscious once more.

I rocketed from my chair, and sprinted into the next room. Shuri was already taking vitals, but stepped aside for a moment to allow me to get a good look at Bucky. He was still as the grave. I watched for any signs of movement, but nothing happened.

"Speak to him. He can probably hear you. He has pretty clear neurological function, so it's likely he'll get your message." Shuri stated as she stared at an image of his brain on a computer screen.

I nodded, and leaned close to his ear, saying, "It's me, it's your Caroline. I don't believe this is actually happening. I need you to wake up, so we can laugh about the absurdity of it all. Please. Please open your eyes. I love you, and I miss you so much. Please come back to me."

I sat by his side as the others filed in over the next few hours, each one pleading for him to wake up, or threatening to kick his ass if he died again. It was mostly light hearted, after how optimistic they were with his jump scare of an awakening. Me, I was cautious, still holding back, until he woke up, and stayed awake.

Weeks, weeks had passed after Shuri had repaired Bucky's brain. Still, he didn't wake up. He had progressed, sure. His brain was completely as it should have been, but he wouldn't wake up. After a month of waiting I had had enough.

"I can't do this anymore!" I moaned, while we were all seated around Bucky, eating breakfast.

I glanced around at their shocked faces. "He's not waking up. His mind is working, and so is his body, but he's not waking up. I can't sit here, watching the man I love rot away to nothing in a bed. I'm sorry, but I have to go. I can't do this. I can't, I'm weak, and I have to get away from here."

Before anyone could reply, I stormed out of the medical unit, heading towards my room. I immediately gathered my things, and sought out Shuri. As I reached the lab, she approached me, with her brother close behind.

T'Challa pulled me into a hug, and said, "Do not give up hope, Caroline. By all signs, he should wake anytime now. I know it is hard to wait, but just give it a bit longer."

I pulled away from him, and sighed. Shaking my head in resolve, I said, "I'm sorry, but I gave up on hope long ago. I'm not an Avenger, I can't handle this. I have to go. Before I do, Shuri, you remember my condition if he didn't recover, right? Well, I need you to follow through with that, before I leave."

Shuri gave me a sharp look before saying, "You would make me take away your memories of him? What will he say when he wakes up? How do you think he will respond when he finds out you deliberately wiped your memories of him?!"

I shook my head, stating, "I know you trust in your complex work, and I wanted to as well, but it's been too long. He's not getting up out of that bed again. He is gone. Bucky is dead. And I can't live with the memories of him, they're constantly tearing me to pieces whenever something reminds me of him. So, please, free me from my torment, because I don't know how to live with this."

Shuri rolled her eyes, grabbed my arm, and led me back toward the lab.


	16. Forget Me Not

Two years later-

It had been a long few years since we had disappeared into that alternate universe, but those of us that had been lucky enough to return were finally able to put it behind us. I had climbed back up the ladder that was the U.N. I was happy... I guess. I had gotten everything back, but a part of me was still missing.

Now, I was doing what I had always done. I traveled to remote lands. I had gone all around the world, and now? Now I was finally going back to Wakanda. They invited us back after our attempt before the world fell apart. More specifically, they invited me to do a week review, before we brought others in to observe their technology.

So, there I was, riding in a jet with the Avenger's. They had offered to pick me up, something they had never done with the U.N. before. I had met some of them in the alternate reality, and had spent a year together, but I was sure it wasn't me that had prompted them to give us this honor.

"Hey, Caroline! Can you hear me?" Sam asked across the aisle from me.

"Yeah, Sam, I can hear you." I answered, taking my eyes off of the extravagant features of the plane.

He smiled widely at my awed look. "Good. When we get there, I'm gonna introduce you to everyone. You already met T'Challa, but the others you may not know. Sound good?"

I nodded again, and asked, "Who else is there? His sister has already spoken to me over webcam, but who else should I be aware of?"

Sam glanced at the others, who gave him begrudging looks, before he confessed, "Well... it's going to be a bit of a shock, but Bucky Barnes and Wanda Maximoff are there. Maybe even Tony Stark and Bruce Banner. And they'll all know you..."

Natasha cleared her throat loudly, cutting Sam off. "We are going to be entering Wakandan air space in a minute, it's very interesting land, Ms. Smith. You'll want to come take a look before we make our final descent."

Sam gave me a small smile, and stood up. I followed suit, and joined him, Romanoff, and a very quiet Steve Rogers at the front of the plane. As we flew over the city, I smiled. It was beautiful, tall stone buildings, with bustling streets, just as I had remembered it. A healthy, thriving home for those below. But that was nothing compared to what we were about to witness.

As we flew over the edge of the city, we crossed over a field of livestock, towards a tree line. I watched intently, waiting for the plane to rise over the trees, but Romanoff flew straight towards them. I gave the others a panicked looked, but they just grinned back at me. They were going to kill me! I grabbed tight to anything I could, and prepared to crash. As we were about to hit the trees, I closed my eyes tightly, praying to God for mercy. But we never crashed.

The others laughed out loud and I opened my eyes. Before me was a large kingdom of shining glass and metal. I gave the others a hard glance, but turned my attention back to the splendor before my eyes. What was I looking at?

"So, Wakanda isn't all sheep farmers and fishermen." I stayed lamely, due to the utter shock of the sight before me.

Sam patted me softly on the back. "Oh, you have no idea."

Once we had landed, the others led me into the tallest building. Quickly, they took me down to a room lined with huge windows that showed the kingdom. There were rows of monitors, and men and women in lab coats moving around us. I couldn't be sure, but I felt like I'd been there before.

Sam led me forward, explaining, "So, this is the lab. Um, Shuri and her team work on new tech and such in here. She's a genius, as you read in your file."

As he continued to speak, I lost track of myself. Without an actual thought, I started moving towards a door to the side of the lab, marked with a white cross above it. A medical wing. I slowly, with shaking hands, opened the door. Inside was a row of beds, but it was otherwise empty.

"Caroline? You okay?" Sam questioned, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I jumped, but gave him a small smile. "Sorry, yes. I'm fine. Um, please, continue."

Sam gave me a sly smile, but took me back into the lab, where a row of people had congregated. I felt strangely nervous. I didn't feel that very often. As we approached them, I made connections. I knew each of them, of course... intimately. I had in depth files on all of them.

Sam pointed his hand at each of them as he stated, "This is Shuri, Wanda, Bruce, Tony, T'Challa, who you've met, and Bucky Barnes. They're here to demonstrate the inventions and innovations that Wakanda has to offer."

I smiled at each of them, nodding a hello, but my focus was oddly drawn to Bucky. He was obviously the most familiar, because I had been assigned to catch him, before all the superheroes had been pardoned, but this? This was more than just knowing about his past from a file. This was like I had lived it. Like I'd been apart of it. God, why was I getting such intense dé ja vu? I watched him closely as Sam kept discussing something. Bucky watched me also, and looked visibly uncomfortable and expectant. I shook my head, trying to forget my previous thoughts, and focused on the others once more.

Suddenly, Tony exclaimed, "Well, let's get started, shall we? We only have you here for a week, and there is much that our little evil genius has got to show you."

The next morning, I joined some of the others in the gym where they had shown me many inventions the night before. We started in on round two the moment everyone was there. As the others trained with the items, Shuri and Bruce Banner explained them all to me, speaking of defensive shields, polar cannons, and vibranium based weapons. It was all very fascinating, but I wanted to try them out.

"Would it be possible to try some of it for myself? I've had some training within my own unit, and I believe I have the knowledge to try these things out." I inquired, with heavy anticipation.

Most of the others had stopped fighting. They all looked around, obviously surprised. I glanced around the room, and locked eyes with Bucky, who was giving me an impressed grin. I looked down, my breath catching in my throat.

Sam laughed, "Hell yeah. Why don't you take on Bucky, he's not entirely familiar with the tech, so he would be the most fair fight."

Bucky gave him a sharp look, eyes wide. I assumed it was for making him sound inexperienced. That couldn't have been further from the truth.

As we fought, I was completely dumbfounded by his abilities. Though I shouldn't have been. He was a hundred year old assassin after all. I pushed myself as hard as I could, and I still had nothing on him.

As I reached my breaking point, a hit with a taser gun caught me in the hip, and I went down, hard. While I tried to recover, Bucky fell down beside me, and cautiously sat me up. Gently, he began looking me over.

Once I could move again, I pulled away from him, and looked into his eyes, surprised by the concern reflected back at me. I was confused by the interaction, to say the least. I'd seen that expression in my dreams a hundred times. I sighed, and put a hand on his arm.

"Well, that was interesting." I groaned, smirking up at him.

He grinned, but never lost the expression. "Can you stand, Caroline... I mean, Ms. Smith?"

I chuckled, "Nope, you can call me Caroline. I'm all good, just a bit shaken. But, you better watch out. I'm big into revenge." I smiled slyly up at him.

"I know! I remember..." He extolled, before clamping his mouth shut.

Giving him a confused look, I asked, "Remember? Like from a file?"

Before Bucky could respond, Tony clapped a hand around his shoulder and bellowed, "Geez, Sarge, trying to kill the woman _right_ after meeting her? Maybe your dark side is coming out." He let go of Bucky, and grabbed one of my arms, pulling me away, "Let's get you a drink, and let you recover before the big dinner party tonight."

I gave him a curious glance. "What party would that be, Iron Man? A Tony Stark extravaganza?" I inquired sarcastically.

"Hell yes. But T'Challa won't let me have fireworks. Something about it being the dry season around these parts." Tony responded, with genuine sadness in his voice.

As we strolled out of the gym, I stole a glance back at Bucky. He was staring back, obvious despair splashed across his handsome features. I gave him a smile before I was pulled from view.

That night, after getting dressed in my gown, I looked at myself in the mirror. I was nervous, but was happy with my reflection. I was so glad I'd pack an evening gown.

Fixing my hair, I heard raised voices heading down the hall. Once they were far enough away that I could barely hear them, I opened my door and peered down the hall. It was Steve and Bucky. They were in a heated discussion. Bucky was distraught, and Steve was trying to comfort him.

I was about to close my door when I heard my name spoken. I hesitated long enough to hear something about memories, and a relationship, before they were out of earshot. I closed my door, and went to go sit on the edge of the bed.

What was that all about? What memories, what relationship? I was confused, but I had the feeling it was my own fault. I didn't know what I'd done, but I'd done something stupid.

As it came time to join the party, I really wasn't in the mood for it. I hadn't moved a muscle in more than an hour. Suddenly, there was a heavy knock on the door. I jumped, but went to answer it. On the other side was Sam.

He grinned, as he gave me a look over. "Why, don't you look beautiful, red is definitely your color."

I groaned, "Thanks, but now that I'm dressed, I don't really feel like going..."

"I think I know why. It's not that I don't want to tell you what's going on, but you are going to have to go out there if you want to figure out what it is. Okay?" Sam said solemnly.

"So, there is something. Does it have to do with Bucky?" I asked quickly.

Sam just shrugged. Audibly groaning and rolling my eyes, I nodded. Swiftly I walked towards the door, and opened it again. Gesturing down the long hall, I looked to Sam.

"Well, we're here for a party, aren't we? Let's get going." I said, starting out the door.

"Um, maybe you should put some shoes on first." He yelled back.

"Right..." I murmured, jogging back into the room.


	17. Forgiveness

Arm in arm, Sam and I walked into the party, which was already in full swing. Every Avenger from our planet was there. They were mingling with all sorts of people. It was more like a classy keg party, than a dinner party.

Sam and I walked along the perimeter, until we found others we knew. Steve, Bucky and Romanoff were staring at those dancing to the upbeat music. They looked incredible. Natasha was wearing a long green number, and the men were in suit and tie. Bucky looked especially good with his hair pulled up in a man bun. God, that bun.

As we approached, they paused their conversation, and greeted us. Sam grinned down at me, and started up a new conversation about the training. He mostly had everyone talking about Tony getting zapped with the taser cannon, and losing control of his suit long enough to fly into a wall or two.

While everyone was laughing about the story, Bucky moved to my side, and asked, "And how are you feeling, after you're own experience with the cannon? Sorry about that by the way."

I slipped away from Sam, walking with Bucky.

"Bucky, I'm good. It wasn't a big deal. You don't have to be worried." I whispered, sure he could hear me.

He shook his head. "No, I guess I don't. You're strong. Um... since you're doing alright, would you like to dance?"

I grinned up at him, visibly surprised I guess, because he laughed. I rolled my eyes, but grabbed his arm, and led him to the dance floor. He didn't stop laughing, until I turned and looked at him. When our eyes met, he closed his mouth, but smiled, amused.

As we watched each other, the music slowed. The other couples around us pulled each other close, and Bucky sighed, following suit. I let him wrap his arm around my waist, and take my hand in his. Something about his gentle hold on me, even with the metallic grip, made me feel safe, protected.

While we danced, we were silent. I just breathed him in, trying to pinpoint where I knew that scent from. I couldn't figure it out, and it was driving me insane. I assume my expression reflected my thoughts, because when I looked up at him eventually, that same concerned expression of his was looking back at me.

"What's the matter, Caroline?" He asked softly.

I sighed, and shook my head. "Nothing. I just keep getting dé ja vu. It's being here, and meeting you. I know this place. I know you. Don't I?" I asked cautiously.

He huffed, and let me go. "I can't talk about it. Not without messing this up. Talk to anyone else..."

He tried to walk away, but I grabbed his hand.

"Okay, but I'm not done dancing yet." I said, softly, slipping my arms around him.

Bucky sighed, but pulled me to him, kissing my hair. Dé ja vu. He gently swayed us back and forth, running his metallic fingers up and down my spine. More Dé ja vu. I ran my hands up his back, and laid my head against his chest. This was going to be difficult.

As the night came to an end, Bucky walked me back to my room. Before I could slip the key in the lock, he grabbed me up in a hug. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulled his hair from the bun, and twisted my fingers in the silky strands. I closed my eyes, breathing him in again.

He pulled away, and muttered, "I'm sorry, but we have an early morning. I should let you get to bed..."

"Do you want to stay?" I asked without a second thought.

He stammered for a second, before I put a finger to his lips. "It's fine. I'll see you tomorrow." Before he could reply, I kissed him, unlocked the door, and went in.

Shutting the door on him was surprisingly painful. As soon as it was shut, I wanted to tear it off the hinges to get to him. Instead, I just stood there, paralyzed with the thought that maybe he didn't feel what I was feeling. So, I simply got out of my shoes and dress, and climbed into bed.

The next morning went by like a blur. There was demonstration after demonstration. Then I had a conference call with the U.N. and then I worked on my own training with Sam and Steve. By the time it was mid day, I had run myself ragged.

Quietly, I snuck back to my living quarters. I took a shower, but as I was walking back into my room, I screamed. Sitting in the dark was a man on the edge of my bed. I threw on the light as he stood, it was Bucky.

He put his hands up, and said, "Whoa, Care, it's just me!" He approached me, and held my shoulders. "You're okay. No need to be so frightened."

I pushed my wet hair out of my face, and exclaimed, "God, you could have given me a heart attack! What are you doing here?"

He gave me a small smirk. "Obviously, I came to scare you out of your wits, Doll. But, I also came by to ask if you wanted to go for a hike with me. Steve and Natasha are coming as well. I know you just showered, but I was hoping you would let them help you with what you asked me about last night." He replied hopefully.

I gave him a long look over, seeing the tension in his shoulders. This was important to him. Well, it was important to me too. I nodded, looking up at him. He grinned, and pecked me on the lips, before taking a step towards the door. He paused almost immediately, and gave me a wide smile.

"Okay, okay, Mr. Barnes. Get out. I'll be ready in twenty." I groaned as I pushed him towards the door.

He turned around before I could shut it, and said, "We're meeting out in the main courtyard."

I nodded, and shut the door in his face.

Twenty minutes later, I ran into the courtyard. Bucky and the others were already there, conversing. I stopped a few yards away, watching them. Steve was the first to spot me. He smiled softly, and I nodded a hello. I didn't know for sure, but I could have sworn we were friends in another life.

As Bucky realized, he turned to give me a beaming smile. He approached me, as he asked, "Hey, um, are you ready to go?"

I put out my hand, that he immediately took, and demanded, "Lead the way."

We started up a steep path, which worked its way up the edge of a cliff face. As we climbed, everyone was silent. Steve and Nat were behind me, and Bucky was ahead of me. Everytime I glanced back at them, they were staring intently at me. And when I caught them, they would look down, and act like it hadn't happened.

This continued on for more than an hour. As we approached the top of the cliffs, things evened off, and we started towards the treeline. I glanced around, and realized that I was the only one slowing down. I tried to stay on pace with the super soldiers and the badass agent, but I was exhausted. After we had entered the forest, Steve finally took pity on me.

"Okay, I think it's time for a break." He commented, giving me a sympathetic smile. "Ten minutes. Then we'll head for the lake."

I dropped to the ground, sliding down a tree trunk. Bucky came to sit beside me. I glanced up to him, just now realizing his hair was up in that bun again. It was like I'd never seen a guy wear a bun in my life. Bucky laughed, because my thoughts were obviously written on my face.

"Take a picture, Dollface, it'll last longer." He stated smoothly.

I groaned, "Right, but that would ruin the moment." I glanced away, observing Natasha and Steve, who were sitting together as well, and asked, "Should I inquire about what's going on after we make it to the lake, or before?"

He glanced at the others, and said, "Maybe you should wait until we head back. It could get ugly."

I shot him a worried look, and glanced at the others. Bucky laughed quietly, and held my hand. He gave me an innocent look as I turned my attention back on him. Of course he was laughing at me. I elbowed him like the adult I was, and crossed my arms. He groaned, but grabbed my hand, sighing.

He whispered in my ear, leaning in close, "What happened had to be explained to me, too. So, if I explain it, it'll be like that kids game, Telephone. You'll lose parts if I just try to explain what they explained to me. Just ask, they like you, they won't be too hard on you."

I didn't look at him, because I didn't want to know if he was being sarcastic. Instead, I stood up and approached Steve and Natasha. They glanced up at me, unsurprised. They both sighed, and glanced at Bucky, who took my hand.

"I'm gonna run ahead," Bucky stated, "make sure the path is clear for us. I'll see you all in a bit." He kissed me on the cheek, gave the others appreciative smiles, and headed up the path.

I sighed, looking at my feet, "What did I do?"

Steve held my shoulder and started me back up the path. He looked to Natasha, who came to join us on my other side. They both walked on for a moment, gathering their thoughts. I wrung my hands, and waited.

Suddenly Steve stated, "No one blames you for your decision. You should know that before we get into this."

I nodded, but stayed silent.

He cleared his throat, and asked, "After you came back from the alternate universe, what do you remember?"

I thought it through. "Um, not a whole lot from those first few months. I don't know if I came back after others or what, but people had returned six months prior to me remembering being on Earth again."

"Okay. But, what if you were here, that you came back at the same time as everyone else?" Steve queried, anxiously.

I nodded, and confessed, "Well, that wouldn't be the weirdest thing you could say to me, not with what I saw in that other world, or everything I have seen around here."

Steve nodded vigorously. "Right. You've seen what Shuri and Wakanda is capable of creating and changing. If I told you it went beyond technology and weapons like that, would you believe me?"

"Yeah, now tell me, what invention did I use to erase my memories, and why? Please." I demanded, as gently as I could.

Natasha glanced around me, and exclaimed, "See, she is way more aware than anyone gave her credit for."

"Right, okay. Um, so, you know Bucky had the Winter Soldier program put in his head, right?" Steve stammered.

I nodded once.

"So, um, when you were both in the other world, you guys were very close. When you came back, you were here in Wakanda, and so was he. But, he came back as the Winter Soldier. That made him dangerous. Shuri tried to free him from it."

I nodded again.

He smiled weakly, and continued. "She searched for a while, and found a way to fix it. When she did, she brought us all back, so we would be here when he woke up. But, when she put him back together, he didn't wake up, not right away. That made you desperate to forget him, and your pain. You begged Shuri to take your memories and all subsequent memories related to your life together."

"That is why you have missing time.".

He glanced at Natasha who took over. "You did what you had to, to survive this. No one blames you, not even Bucky, who woke up with memories of you, of everything you were to one another..."

I asked, interrupting, "How did Shuri bring him back? He was brain dead, the Winter Soldier killed him, right? How is he alive, and able to remember me when I came before that?"

Steve said, cautiously, "Shuri reconstructed his entire life. She took all of our memories of him, including yours, and put them back in with precision. He woke up a year ago, and in that time, not once have I noticed a single flaw in Shuri's work."

I nodded slowly, and muttered, "A year. Wow, it must have been a surprise when he did eventually wake up. How long did I wait before I chose to completely forget him?"

Natasha sighed, "A month. Though, it felt like years. That was for me. I can't imagine how it felt for you. Again, no one blames you for your decision."

"No, I just forgot the man I loved. It's not a big deal at all..." I replied sarcastically. "What did Bucky do when he woke up? He remembered me, what did he do?"

Steve laughed, "He was very weak, and immediately ate a sandwich." He smiled at me. "When his appetite was sated, he started asking about you, because he was seeing everyone else, but not you... when we told him he was quiet for a while, but then he tried to figure out where you were..."

Steve was starting to lose his wording, but Natasha stepped in.

"Bucky begged T'Challa to bring you in again. We all wanted to see you again. We had all missed you. Do you have any memories of us from before coming to Wakanda three days ago?"

"No, I don't. I'm so sorry." I moaned, frowning at the others. "I ruined all of this. I'm sorry."

They each shook their head, and Steve said, "We don't blame you for deciding to do this. Bucky wasn't responding to anything, and you were hurting. You couldn't have known everything else that was going to be taken out."

I sighed, "You can't seriously say this isn't my fault. I mean, I did this. I chose this, and I'm sure that I knew the consequences. I'm going to have to make up for this. I need to talk to Bucky, see if he can forgive me."

Natasha patted me on the shoulder, and said, "He loves you. He has already forgiven you. So have we. Now, just go talk to Bucky. I think we're going to go for swim."

With that, they ran ahead, and disappeared up the path. I walked up after them, and found the lake. Looking out on the clear, blue water, I allowed myself to take a deep breath, before seeking Bucky out. I scanned the water's edge, and finally spotted him. He was staring out across the lake, sitting in the sand. Taking in the deepest breath I could, I started towards him.

As I reached his side, he finally glanced up at me. I smiled, and sat beside him, pushing my fingers into the sand. It was funny, I couldn't remember the last time I'd sat on a beach. He grinned down at my hand, and followed suit. I chuckled softly, and looked up at him.

"I'm sorry. I can't believe what I did." I muttered, glancing up at him.

Bucky sighed, and looked around. I waited quietly, looking into the water. I couldn't blame him if he didn't forgive me. He eventually took my hand and gently pulled me up off the ground. I stood before him, and stared into his eyes, nervous. He glanced at our hands, and sighed.

"You purposefully forgot me. You made someone cut me from your memories, and you did so intentionally." He turned his eyes up to look at me. "But, I wasn't there. I know what I felt, and if I had lost you then, I probably would have done anything not to feel the pain.'

'Also, if I had been watching what had been happening for so long, and then furthermore, seeing the data Shuri had on memory removal, I don't know what would have been going through my head."

I nodded, and held his hands tighter. He smiled, and rubbed circles across my palms with his thumbs.

"If you need forgiveness, then, God, Caroline, of course I forgive you. You did what you had to, to survive what you were going through. I can't stand here and accuse you of anything, because you didn't do anything wrong. You just wanted to live your life, without the pain."

I shook my head, and tried to take a deep, breath, but sobbed instead. Bucky pulled me to his chest, and wrapped me in his arms. I couldn't understand how he could be so forgiving. I cried into his tee shirt, and tried to get control of myself. Bucky chuckled softly, kissing my hair, and rubbing my back.

With a sniff, I pulled away from Bucky, and rubbed my eyes. I took a heaving breath, and chuckled, glancing up at him. He gently wiped a tear from my cheek, and smiled at me. It was strange, the feeling that someone cared for me as much as Bucky did, in spite of my weakness.

"So, where do we go from here, Caroline? What do you want to do?" Bucky whispered, gazing at me with those beautiful, stormy eyes.

I smiled softly, and said, "I want to figure out if we can get my memories back, of course. But you know what I want to do first... I want to go swimming."

Bucky glanced at the lake behind him, and smirked. "Do you?" He slipped one of his hands around my hip. "Is that what you want to do?" He asked, sliding his hand up under my shirt.

I gasped silently, and nodded. He laughed at my response, and pulled me to him, kissing me deeply. I grabbed him, and kissed him back, trying to match his intensity. He pulled me up off the ground, and wrapped my legs around his waist. Pulling back, I smiled at him. God he was gorgeous. He quirked an eyebrow at me, as I gave him a wide eyed look, before he tossed me into the water.

I surfaced, and gasped, looking for him. He whooped, and jumped into the water, splashing me. As he surfaced. I splashed him back, and swam away, as fast as I could. He followed me, making me squeal with excitement.


	18. Fixer Upper

"I'm sorry, we can't put your memories back. They're gone, for good." Suri confessed, sympathetically.

"Okay, then what's next? I don't know what to do. I made the worst decision of my life when I chose to get rid of my memories of Bucky. I'm sure I thought he was gone forever, but now he's back, and he still cares about me. I care about him, so, what should I do? Tell me how to fix this." I pleaded.

She shook her head, and stated, "The best I can do is what we did with Bucky. We gathered everyone's memories of his interactions with him, and pieced them back together. I mean, that is the best we could do. I know you don't remember, but we discussed that everything would be gone, and there was no going back."

Right, of course I would agree to that if I knew I would forget it. "Um, Shuri... why didn't you keep my interactions with the others here in my memories, surely some of it didn't include Bucky."

She shook her head, and said, "You were always thinking of him. You were always talking about him, and you were always worrying about what he was doing, or whatever. I couldn't leave any part of them, without leaving a part of him."

"I'm sorry that it all came back around like this. It can't be easy for you. I can only imagine what it took to do that. Listen... I don't deserve it, but if you're willing, could you rebuild my memories?"

After a week of compiling memories, piecing them together, and preparing them to sync up with my own memories, it was time to put them back in my head. When the fateful morning came, I was nervous. I couldn't understand why. This was everything I had wanted, but I was still apprehensive.

Sitting in the hospital wing, waiting for Shuri, Banner, and Tony, I wrung my hands out, trying to take deep breaths. It was all going to be fine. In a bit I was going to have my memories back, and be with the man I loved, with no reservations, right? Sitting in my own world, I didn't hear Bucky come up behind me.

"Are you going to make me say it?" He asked.

I jumped and looked up at him, saying, "And what would 'it' be, exactly?"

He grinned, before sitting behind me, wrapping me up in those arms. "Are you going to make me say that I will be here for you, no matter what happens? I mean, I feel like I've pretty much proved it at this point, don't you think? "

I elbowed him gently, and nodded. "I know, I believe you. Because you're my hero... and not just mine, apparently."

"I've told you before, I don't think I'm a hero." Bucky mumbled.

I scoffed and stated, "Yeah, well I don't remember that. So..."

Bucky nodded his head, knowingly. I gave him a smile and rubbed his arm. He was going to have to get used to me calling him that. From the hall, came excited voices, each one speaking over the other. Bucky released me, as Tony, Shuri, and Banner joined us. Close behind were Steve and Sam. The scientists were pushing the electrode conductor ahead of them, going over the memory rebuild procedure.

When they finally came to a stop on the edge of my bed, Tony looked up at me and gave me a grin. "So, Care Bear, are you ready to get the equivalent to electroshock therapy, just so you can get back your memories of Cable over here?" He asked, grinning at Bucky.

I raised an eyebrow in confusion, to which he rolled his eyes, and got to work helping the others calibrate the machine. I shook my head, and started wringing my hands again. I couldn't get ahold on my nerves. Bucky came around the bed, and gently grabbed my hands, rubbing them. He made a show of taking in a slow deep breath, and letting it out again.

I scoffed, and asked sarcastically, "The super soldier is trying to get me to do mediation breaths? Interesting."

"Shut up, you smart mouth. I'm just saying, you need to relax. Everything is going to be just fine. Look at me, I'm doing great, and that was a full memory reconstruction." He said, sliding his hands up my arms.

I nodded, and took a deep breath. Letting it out so it blew right in his face. He chuckled and held my face as he gently kissed me. With that kiss, I forgot about everything else.

Tony laughed under his breath as he came to stand before me. "Alright, lovebirds, it's time to get this party started. Care, lay on your back, and we'll have you good as new in no time. Sarge, please stand back while we do this. It can get a little... interesting."

Bucky nodded, kissed my cheek, and went to lean against the wall with Sam and Steve. Each was watching me intently, like they weren't sure how it was going to go. That was reassuring. I took another breath, and layed back on the bed. Once I was down, Tony and Banner were on either side of me, gently holding my arms, as Shuri applied the electrodes./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #222222;" data-p-id="d214c19f42a8805fd6efb1a37d166e9c""Alright. Caroline," Bruce said, glancing down at me, "we're going to turn on the electrodes, and it's going to send a current into your brain, and with that current, we're going to send over the memories. It's not going to feel nice, but it should only be thirty seconds or so. It's like downloading a file."

I nodded quickly, saying, "Okay, I understand. Let's do this."

"So eager, aren't you, Care Bear?" Tony asked, grinning down at me.

"Well, I got rid of all of the memories of the man I love, and subsequently all of the people I met right before, so, it'd be nice if I could remember all of them, and not just the snarky bird boy, who I love so, so dearly." I replied, glancing at Sam, who beamed at everyone until he looked at Bucky.

Shuri groaned, "Okay, let's finish this."

With that, she gently rubbed the electrodes around on my temples, and slipped the switch on, sending the power to them. I cried out, and my head felt like it was being stabbed all the way through. The pain lasted for more than I thought possible. It was so intense, I lost my eyesight, and my hearing, until everything went black.

"Caroline... Caroline? You awake?" Bucky asked.

I opened my eyes, and groaned. "I just wanted to act like everything's normal."

Bucky chuckled, and slipped his arms around me. I opened my eyes to a red glow. Glancing around, I saw the walls of a cave. I groaned, remembering the alternate universe. Bucky ran a hand through my hair and pulled me close to his body.

Slowly I turned to look at him, asking, "How did we get here? I don't understand?"

Bucky sighed, "Well, this is where we met. Maybe we should make the best of things, and go outside."

Confused, I smiled up at him. He kissed me, and pulled me up off the ground. He led me out into the mist, and looked out into it, seemingly lost in thought. I stopped at the wall, and leaned heavily against it.

Bucky glanced at me, and asked, "Why did you do it?"

I shook my head, asking, "What?... Do what, exactly?"

"Well, forget me, Doll. You forgot me, and then left me behind. Why?"

I sighed, and said, "I was sure you were dead. Everyone else was hoping for a miracle, but I had never really seen one before. I couldn't wait any longer. In just that month, I was broken to pieces. I had to stop the pain."

Bucky nodded, and started into the mist. I pushed off the wall and immediately started after him. Before I could catch up to him he was gone. Screaming his name, I ran through the mist, seeking him out. Not again! No matter how hard I screamed, he wouldn't come back to me.

As I ran deeper into the mist, I came upon a hole, and skidded to a stop, narrowly stopping myself from falling in. Righting myself, I glanced over the edge, seeing strange images. All of them included Bucky. I leaned even farther, to get a better look. As I did, Bucky appeared from behind. I jumped at his sudden presence, and teetered over the edge, but Bucky grabbed my hand, stopping me from falling in. Holding me by the wrist, my body hanging over the edge, he smiled at me.

"That's where all of our memories went. You made a black hole, and swallowed me up in it. I'm gone. And, maybe you want the same." He loosened his grip on my wrist slightly. "Is that a fair assessment?

I shook my head vigorously, "I did, but not anymore. I want to remember you again, and if I have to go in there to get them back, then so be it."

"What if you don't come back? What will I do then?" Bucky asked, his face softening.

My voice quivering, I said, "You'll live on. You have others that love you so much."

He shook his head, "That's not good enough. If you go down there, I go with you."

And so he pulled me up, wrapped me in his arms, and stepped off the ledge...

"Aaaah! Aaaaaaah! Ah!" I screamed out, as I sat up, flailing about, and falling to the cold floor.

Before I could register where I was, someone had me up off the floor, and in a bed. It was dark, but a bedside lamp made it easy enough to make out Bucky's face. He was as handsome as the day I had met him... back in the mist.

I grinned at him, and said, "It was all real. You. Me. That world, and everything after." I grabbed his hand, gently squeezing it. "I'm sorry I forgot."

Bucky chuckled and lifted me from the bed, to pull me into a breathtaking kiss. I tangled my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer. It was so intense, that I thought we might burn up from the heat between us. Before I could be fully satisfied, someone cleared their throat, breaking the spell.

Bucky pulled away, but refused to let me go completely, turning me to face Sam and Steve. They were feigning disgust, but smiles were edging into their grimaces. I just laughed, looking over my shoulder at the love of my life. He was beaming back.

Sam slowly said, "So, it's safe to assume that you remember."

I nodded, biting my lip.

He grinned, and said, "God, finally. Bucky has been moping around for months, trying to figure out how to get you to remember him. And now we can get on with our lives." Sarcasm laced his every word.

I rolled my eyes, stating, "Well, I'm sure you'll find someone else's drama to get involved in. Maybe you guys will find another HYDRA psycho to fight. For now, maybe you two could give us a minute, maybe a bit longer to get reacquainted?"

Steve got the hint, and led Sam from the room. Before he was out of sight, he said, "I'm glad you're awake, and you can finally remember."

I watched the empty doorway for a moment, before the presence of my Bucky behind me pulled me back. I gulped, and slowly turned to face him, suddenly shy. He gazed down at me. I couldn't meet his eyes.

Softly, he asked, "Is everything alright? You did get your memories back, didn't you?"

"Yes! I got my memories back, all of them I think. It's just, I'm ashamed. After all of the incredible times we had together. I can't believe I purposefully forgot them. How weak am I?"

Bucky sighed heavily, watching the wall. A thick moment passed, before he shrugged, and grinned at me. I watched him closely, waiting for his face to drop. That moment never came, instead he leaned close to me, and pressed his forehead to mine.

"Caroline Smith. You are not the easiest person to understand. You say what's on your mind, and don't care what anyone else thinks. It wasn't an ideal journey, but we've finally reached the destination, together. I think it's best to just move past this, and live our lives.'/

'Speaking of, now that you remember me, and I remember you, do you still want to make this work? Before we came back from that other world, we had a discussion. We wanted to be together, no matter how hard it would be. Do you still want that?"

I pulled away, looking him in the eye. This incredible being was ready to plunge into a life with me. With the person that had spiraled out of control, and destroyed everything along the way. He had forgiven my insanity, and now he was ready for a life together.

Through the tears I tried to hold back, I said, "For the rest of... forever, I want you to be there right along with me. It took us three years to finally get this right, and I think it's about time."

Bucky picked me up and spun me around, detaching me from all the wires stuck to my body. As we held each other, we hadn't realized that we had company.

"Well, it's safe to say, she got her memories back." Tony whispered, if you could call it that, to the others that had gathered.

We stopped, and glance at the small crowded, still holding one another.

Sam rolled his eyes, and said, "Get out of here already. Have some fun, you two psychos deserve it."


	19. And The Lived

"Ten minutes to showtime..." Nat called, walking into my dressing room, pausing as she got a good look of me.

I glanced at her and then myself, saying, "Is it too much? It might be too much..."

"No, you look incredible!" She exclaimed, joining Shuri and Wanda.

They were the perfect bridesmaids, for the perfect day. We had been through hell together, of course they got that honor. God, what a life it had been.

As I waited to walk down the aisle, my escorts were getting ready. I had originally asked Sam, and he had said yes. Then Tony offered, and I couldn't say no, so they were walking me down the aisle together.

As they were bickering over who was going to give my hand over, the music started and the doors to the garden opened. I elbowed each of them, and they grunted loudly. Those who had seen what had happened chuckled under their breaths. They were not fighting on my wedding day! The boys clumsily reached their arms out, and I took them, smiling.

Slowly we made it to the open doors. As we turned, I spotted him, standing at the other end, gazing down at me. Bucky Barnes was wearing a full tux, and he looked slightly out of place, but God, if he wasn't the most handsome man I'd ever seen.

It was torture walking at a snail's pace to the altar, but it was worth it in the end, because I got to watch Bucky's look of awe. Once we were across from him, both Sam and Tony grabbed my hands, and gave them over to Bucky. They joined Steve and T'Challa as Bucky's groomsmen. Each one gave us a thumbs up. I rolled my eyes, and glanced up at Bucky Holding his hands in mine, my eyes started filling with tears.

The officiate stepped forward, and called, "Welcome all. We are gathered here to join James and Caroline in holy matrimony..."

Sam whispered to Steve, "Awe, little James is getting married."

Bucky and I both glared his way. With an innocent look, he dropped his eyes to his hands. He knew he was poking the bears. We both shared a smile before turning our attention back to the officiate.

"...If there be any that has a reason why these two should not be wed, speak now, or forever hold your peace." She stated and glanced toward the crowd.

Bucky and I watched them all, nervously. We weren't really worried about there being a reason to stop our wedding. We were more worried that the universe would create another reason to mess with us. Suddenly, some of the guests gasped. At my side, Shuri had her hand raised.

She glanced at me, blank faced, and said, "Ma'am, these heels are dreadfully uncomfortable. Can we wrap this up?"

I groaned, "You chose them!' I glanced back at the woman, 'Anyway, I think we're good..."

The officiate smiled, and continued. "Alright. Well, the bride and groom have prepared vows for one another. Who would like to start?"

I raised my hand quickly, and turned towards Bucky. I gazed into those vibrant eyes, and decreed, "Bucky, every day before that fateful morning in April, I felt like I was just wandering through life. I thought one day, maybe, I would find what I was missing. Then I woke up alone in the mist, certain I was dead, and I would never discover that thing I was waiting for. Then you found me. And I tried to suckerpunch you in the face.'

Everyone busted up in laughter.

'...still, when you appeared out of nowhere, I wasn't afraid, I wasn't worried, I felt like I had found someone that would protect me as much as I knew I would protect him. You had pulled me out of the mist, and gave me everything I had been seeking.'

'Almost immediately after meeting you, I had fallen madly in love with you. And every moment we were together, I loved you more and more.'

'When we came back, that never changed. I know that we had some major rough patches in that world, and when we came home again. But, through it all, you never gave up hope, even when I did. You are my rock, my everything. I love you. And you deserve to be adored, and I'm gonna live every day of my life proving that to you. Thank you for this magnificent life."

Bucky grinned as I finished, and pulled me into a kiss, holding me. From behind Bucky, multiple someone's cleared their throats. Bucky and I pulled apart, and chuckled. We just wanted to kiss without judgment for once!

The officiate coughed, "Um, you're supposed to wait until later for that. Did you," she pointed to Bucky, "have your own vows?"

He nodded vigorously, turned back towards me, and said, "When I met you for the first time, it was like finding an angel. I was alone in the mist, and I was afraid I was the only sane one left. When you followed me into the mist, I was so happy, I could have kissed you right then and there, because I wasn't alone anymore.'

'I got to learn all about you in those first few days, and it made me fall in love. When we came back, I wasn't myself, but you didn't take that lying down. You did everything you could to bring me back. I hope to repay your love with my own, for eternity. I love you, and I always will."

I held his hands, and grinned. It felt like in that moment that no one had loved another more than I loved him. He smirked back, like he could read my mind, and was thinking the same thing.

The officiate raised her hand, and said, "Alright, thank you. Now, let's continue. James Buchanan Barnes, do you take Caroline Penelope Smith to be your lawfully wedded wife through all of your trials and good fortune as long as you both shall live?"

He looked from her to me, awestruck by the question, and said quietly, "I do, of course I do."

Tears sprung to my eyes, and Bucky gently wiped one from my cheek. Glancing up at him, I realized his eyes were glistening with tears as well.

"Wonderful. Alright, Caroline Penelope Smith, do you take James Buchanan Barnes to be your lawfully wedded husband, through all adversity and peace within your life as long as you both shall live?" She asked raising her hand towards me.

I nodding my head immediately, and yelled, "Yes! Sorry. I mean, I do!"

She chuckled, "I now pronounce married, 'tol death fo you part. You may now kiss as husband and wife."

Bucky cried, "Finally!"

We wrapped each other in an exuberant hug, and locked lips in a chaste, gentle kiss. Bucky slid his hand into my curls, and chuckled against my lips. We had practiced that kiss few times. Eventually we broke free from each other in that moment of unbelievable euphoria, and turned to face our guests. Bucky and I walked down the aisle, and everyone followed us out, cheering.

"Hey, Care, you awake?" Bucky crooned, wrapping his arms around my body.

"Slowly opening my eyes, they focused on the lapping water before us. We had come to settle on the northern beaches of Madagascar for our honeymoon. It had been a month since we had gotten married at Avenger's headquarters in New York, and we were still traveling the world.

With a list, we started visiting all the places we had always hoped to go. Bucky's dreams mostly dominated the list, but I gave it to him. He deserved to make good memories in so many places, many I assumed he had visited previously as an assassin.

As I rolled away from the view, I wrapped my arms around him, gazing up at the man I loved, body and soul. Smiling softly, he tucked a loose lock of hair behind my ear, leaving his hand on my cheek.

"Good, you are awake. Would you accompany me on a jungle hike this morning? I want to observe the animals living their lives. Free, and wild."

Nodding gently, I said, "Mr. Barnes, my very own adventurer. I would love to explore with you."

He smiled, content. "Mrs. Barnes, my little globe trekker, get your sexy butt out of bed."

I scoffed, "Isn't the point of a honeymoon to relax?"

He grinned and said, "Maybe, but we aren't normal, and we get to do whatever we want."

He was right. Someday, soon, we would have to go back to work. We would have to go back to the real world. But right then, right there, we were free to decide.

-One year later-

"You're doing great, Doll! Keep breathing! You can do this, just like we practiced!"

I took long deep breaths, trying to get through the most recent contraction. The pain had been so intense, I begged for it to stop. You know what they say. Be careful what you wish for.

While Bucky sped down the slick, dirt road, we began to hydroplane. Even with his enhanced reflexes, we lost control of the car, and careened down an embankment. The car flipped over and over, finally landed on its side. During the crash, I knocked my head, and fell unconscious.

When I finally woke up, Bucky was laying over me, like he was trying to protect me. We were out of the car, lying in the rain. He was gently shaking me.

Bucky sighed with relief, looking into my eyes. "I called Shuri. She sent an ambulance. It should be here soon. Are you feeling alright, Babe?"I groaned, my head starting to throb. I whined, "Why did we decide to live in a hut so far from our planned birth center?"

Bucky retorted, "Because we both wanted our baby to grow up somewhere peaceful and beautiful, remember?"

I scoffed, putting my hands on my stomach. That's when I realized that my contractions had stopped. I felt around for any sign of movement, fear evident in my eyes. Bucky's amused grin turned to concern as his line of sight dropped to my frantic hands.

Sitting there in frightened silence, we heard the ambulance approaching. Bucky kissed me on the forehead, and started up the out of the ditch, waving his arms. I tried to stayed still, waiting for the paramedics.

Running down the embankment, Bucky was followed by the medics, with a stretcher. He dropped by my side, and held my hand as the two men looked me over, before transferring me from the freezing ground onto the board. With a certain degree of difficulty, they got me up in the ambulance, and started towards the kingdom.

Upon arrival to the labs med center, the medics quickly wheeled me into the impromptu birth suite with Bucky right by my side. By the time we had gotten me in a gown, I was bawling. I hadn't felt a single twinge since we had gotten in the accident.

Soon enough, Shuri and a small woman named, Dr. Roberts, came to check on us. She slowly slid her stethoscope across my belly. After what felt like a lifetime, she grinned, and looked up at us.

"She's doing fine. Let me get the heart rate monitor, and you can hear for yourselves. Your contractions stopped because she slipped back up out of the birth canal during the accident. We'll get her out quickly, to make sure she's all good." Roberts said, looking through drawers for what she needed.

Quickly she grabbed a monitor, and laid it across my stomach. As she positioned it, it was quiet. Eventually, she had it in place, and flipped the monitor on. At first there was nothing, but suddenly a quick, strong beat came through. Bucky and I both let out a deep sigh of relief.

As I pushed, and pushed some more, , assured me I was doing so well. I tried not to yell at her as I was pushing out what felt like a bowling ball. It was the most intense pain of my entire life. In a split second, we went from anticipation, to fear, and finally to relief.

As our baby girl was born, she was very quiet, not making a single sound. Shuri worked on her, as I sat helplessly on the bed. Bucky watched over the her shoulder. Just when I was mentally preparing myself for the worst, a piercing cry slashed right through my darkest thoughts.

Tears filled my eyes, as Bucky brought our beautiful daughter to me. I took her up in my arms, gazing into her beaming eyes. She was our little miracle. It suddenly felt like our whole lives had been leading up to this moment. And I couldn't lie, it was all worth it.

After we had rested together, Bucky asked me an ever important question. "Caroline? We have to name her. Did you ever come to a conclusion about that, which name from the list have you decided on, because I like your middle name, Penelope. Maybe Penelope Beatrice Barnes?"

I glanced up at him, and back at her. She was so strong, like her father. She needed a strong name to go with it.

Grinning up at him, I nodded.

"That's cute, but I like Evangeline. Evangeline Natalia Wanda Barnes. Named after her aunts, and it's just a really good name."

He smiled down at our daughter, and nodded. "I like it. It certainly stands out, as we know she will."

A week had passed, and we were finally free to take our little munchkin home. We had settled into our small farming community, among the Wakandans, exactly how Bucky had wished to live. The day of our return was spent showing off our lovely Evie to all those in the village. They had accepted her with open arms. I hadn't expected that this would be our home, but if this amount of love was how it would always be, then I was happy to make the change.

That night, Evie nuzzled up to Bucky's chest, he whispered, "The team wants to meet her. It's a rare thing that one of them finds happiness. What do you say, do you want to present her to all of Avenger's society?"

I thought it over, sighing, "Sure, when do we leave?"


	20. Happily Ever After!

On our way back to upstate New York, we discussed who might be at Evie's belated baby shower. Nat and Wanda had planned some big get together to introduce her to everyone. I was glad they were making an effort. But it didn't change the fact that I was so anxious, I thought I might throw up.

Pulling into the underground parking, I let out a long sigh, grounding myself. Bucky glanced my way, furrowing his brow as he caught my eye. I wrung my hands, trying to stay calm.

"Care, what is it? I thought you wanted to come back here. Didn't you want the others to meet Evie?" He protested, taking my hand in his.

I nodded, admitting, "But what if they don't accept her?"

He smiled gently, rubbing soft circles across my hand. "Babe, you have nothing to worry about. They will love her. Everyone's so happy for us. Though, Sam, Steve and Tony were hoping it was a boy. They wanted to be able to teach him fighting and stuff. I told them, they better teach our daughter the same stuff, or asses would be kicked. She is going to be incredible, like her mom."

I grinned from ear to ear, thinking about Captain America teaching our daughter a right hook, or Sam giving her flying lessons. Even better would be Tony teaching her how to build a robot of her own. It would be a good life. It would be the life of an Avenger.

"You ready to head in? Nat and Wanda are in there chomping at the bit, and who knows who else." Bucky urged, cheerfully.

I nodded and climbed out of armored SUV, a gift from T'Challa. Carefully, I pulled Evie from the car, and we made our way into the compound. As we walked into the living quarters, a mass of people yelled, "Congratulations." Standing before us was every Avenger and living affiliate there was.

I pulled Evie out of her carseat, and brought her around to everyone. Everyone watched her with proud eyes. I was surprised by their acceptance and automatic care for her. Bucky and I wandered through the gathering, and showed off our perfect girl. More so, they lived her.

She smiled at everyone, except Steve, who she giggled for. He held her most of the night, after we made the rounds, and Wanda and Nat had their fill. He held her like she could break at any moment. But slowly got more comfortable. Everyone watched on in awe. It was almost like they had always wanted that life, and now we were able to help them get a few moments of it.

When the night came to an end, and Evie was asleep in Steve's arms, the Avenger's still remained. Sam and Wanda were deep in discussion, as Tony, Bucky, Nat and T'challa just stared at the Evie. It seemed like none of them had been around infants in all their lives. Which I couldn't see where they would have had the chance.

"So, I'm really happy that you and Bucky finally found your happy ending. He deserves it, and so do you. With everything you both have been through." Steve muttered, trying to keep the conversation between us.

Shrugging, I gushed, "He definitely deserves some happiness, with everything he faced. Me, I'm just glad to be a part of it all. If it weren't for him, I would never have come back. God, who knows where I would be. I don't deserve him, or her," I glanced at Evie, "I'm just lucky to have them."

Steve patted my shoulder, saying, "You are just as deserving as him. We all make choices, and live with the consequences. But, you? You chose to take action. No one, especially Bucky, blames you. It was years ago, forgive yourself."

I shrugged again, and caught Bucky's eye, smiling softly at him. Smiling back, he came to sit by me, pulling me into his arms. Gently, he kissed my forehead, and held me as we watched our daughter sleep.

"You know, if it weren't for you and I meeting in that hellscape, we wouldn't have made it here today. You were so incredible. And I fell completely in love with you. That love has never wavered, not once." Bucky admitted, beaming down at me.

"I believe you. I'm glad we found each other, over and over again."

He chuckled, "Yeah, we didn't really make it easy, did we?"

I grinned up at him, and stretched to reach his lips, kissing him deeply. A moment later, someone whistled at us. I pulled away, glancing at the ever audacious Tony, who was looking around innocently. It couldn't end after we got married?

I rolled my eyes, but leaned against Bucky, whispering, "Conventional was never our thing. Falling in love with you was easy, you know. It was like breathing for me. I love you and our family more than anything or anyone in my entire existence."

Bucky sighed, "And to think, we can both remember that feeling, even with our lab manufactured memories. Our souls, if you believe in that sort of thing, they couldn't forget. We, my love, were meant to be."

I nodded, and cuddled closer to him, observing the others. It was late, and they were all obviously fighting the urge to pass out. That was their general state of being I was learning. They would be off on a mission soon enough, but at that moment, we were all together, and we were content. Which, within the world of super heroes, was everything you could ask for.


End file.
